Zip Lining

The stake took the youth that will be 16 this year or older on a little retreat.  Friday night was spent at the temple doing baptisms and a service project and Go Ape on Saturday.  As reluctant as I was, I participated in Go Ape.  I am not a fan of anything that is not safe and jumping out trees to zipline and walking from high in the tree to another is not ideal, but, this was a moment I could share with my daughter.  It was not pleasant and I wanted to puke a thousand times but I can say I did it!
Aubree attended a forensics competition with her friend and they placed first in impromptu acting.  She has discovered her love in acting and theater.  She found out yesterday that she received a very minor role in HairSpray at school. She had tried out for Tracy but then was asked to read for the gym teacher. As bad as she wanted Tracy, she figured it was a little more realistic she would get the gym teacher. She was so sad yesterday when she saw the cast list.  I told her no matter what we were proud of her and even if she was not in the play that we would have watched with her.  She is down on herself about her body build and stated that only stick thin girls can play most of the parts, what she fails to realize is her own beauty. 
Will had his first trip to the principal's office at school this week for accepting an "airdrop" of a video game that he knew was not allowed.  We have talked to him mulitple times about the use of technology and limiting it, so may, this will help enforce the importance of it.
Christopher was super proud to share with us this week that he mas mastered two more sounds in speech, one of them being the k.  He is improving and it is showing.  He also has asked that each night at dinner we share something we are thankful for, so that helps us reflect on the good.
We left this morning for a two day trip to Branson, MO to meet up with James's family.  We met at Dixie Stampdede for dinner and then James reserved a large house for everyone to stay at. 

Recently I have improved so much on reading my scriptures.  I have a new found love for the New Testament and look forward to listening/watching a little episode I watch weekly on the Come Follow Me curriculum.  The crazy (but I guess to be expected) thing is that although when I read about Christ life and what he did for me I feel buoyed up, at the same time I feel almost less by the others I love most and toxic. I continuously wonder if I am good for those around me, do I build them up or tear them down, do I bring out the worst in others? Have I and am I building up my children and being the voice in their head for good or do they hear constant ridicule? I am unsure how I it is possible that I can make a situation worse, it is not my intent, especially to those dearest to me. Like how is that I offend when I really am trying to be good? What would or should I do? How do I become what the Lord and my family need me to be? What more can I do, even when I feel like I am giving it my all, yet maybe my all is not enough. 
There is no doubt that I have been blessed. I have parents who sacrificed much to ensure that my siblings and I needs were met and that we attended church. I have been fortunate to have four kids, and not just four kids but four kids that are good kids.  I have been blessed with a husband that is gentle and kind, and that despite how embarrassing I am....he loves me. His patience may wear at times (and actually has these past couple weeks) but in the end, I do not doubt his love.