In the New Testament (Mark 5 and Luke 8) we read about a place of tombs. A man with no clothes tormented day and night. When Jesus saw him, He asked the man’s name. “Legion,” the man answered, suggesting he was possessed by many devils (Mark 5:9; Luke 8:30). But Jesus knew how to remove what held this man captive. There were pigs, a cliff, a lake, and then … a healed man, sitting at the feet of his Savior. Now clothed and in the right state of mind, one may wonder what the thoughts and feelings going through this man’s soul were. Was he now finally at peace? I think so.
When Christ boarded a ship to leave, the man pleaded to go with Him. Perhaps he felt safe being near the Lord and knew it was the only way to not fall back. But the Savior had a different mission in mind for him. Jesus asked the man to return home and tell his friends about what had happened. And so, the man went, testifying throughout the whole city “how great things Jesus had done unto him” (Luke 8:39).
Take a moment and try to imagine that man’s life before Christ, before experiencing His grace and power. The scriptures teach us that “Legion” - “Always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones” (Mark 5:5). Then Christ and His grace appeared, at the very place where he was bound. And a life of chains—captivity and running from demons—was replaced with a testimony of the mercy and power of Jesus Christ.
Just like “Legion”, everyone has a story, a need, a lack, a place of inadequacy, an imperfection. I know the details of mine, and you know the details of yours. And the Lord? He knows all our stories, every dark place we have been, every sorrow we feel, every hope, every heartache, and every happily ever after.
Often there are times in our lives when we allow ourselves to feel discouraged when we have made a mistake or wonder if we belong, even within the gospel or church. I begin to “beat” myself up per say, remembering all the mistakes I have made, and question at times if I am becoming what the Lord needs to me to be or even worthy at times to fully participate in the gospel.
As I talk with others, I have learned that at times there can be pain and discomfort that accompanies modern membership in the Church, however, I am an advocate that we must face these problems head on because beyond the hurt lies the gospel, with an unsurpassed power to heal a wounded world and soul. Internal suffering can come when one feels they do not belong or have different feelings or views on things than most other members. It can be a source of overwhelming pain as the devil would make us feel inadequate or lonely.
Maybe you are among the minority that has not questioned your role in the universe; however, it would benefit us all to better understand the sources of hurt for others. Understanding is needed to help build a bridge over the divides, whatever they may be, intergenerational to opinions. Enabling us to be covenant keepers- to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. The hope that comes from Christ is hope tempered by Gethsemane and Calvary, and too often the answers found in gospel teaching and life most often come as contradictory: sacrifices bringing forth blessings, the penniless being the richer than the wealthy, the living among the dead, and an unwed mother preparing to give birth to God’s chosen son.
Lehi (2 Nephi 2:11) taught that good and evil constitute co-eternal principles and not a question of whether we will suffer. Undoubtedly, we will suffer. But how will we choose to respond to that suffering? Will we choose to lean into the vulnerability created by suffering, so we can fully understand the necessity, power, and transformative effects of love? Will we not fear the judgment of others and seek refuge with one another? Will we choose to welcome those who differ and love with open arms or will we silently judge? Will we turn to the Savior, even if we have only a mere hope that He can help? Will we allow our faith to diminish? Or to grow? Will we seek discipleship?
“Faith is the wind that keeps our discipleship aloft when our confidence falters…Faith is a combination of grace, personal tenacity, and commitment that allows us to continue living as the gospel is true, even when we remain unsure. It does not always allow us to make the right decision, but it allows us to keep trying, even when we falter.” Discipleship in the face of uncertainty taxes us and requires humility, determination, and faith. Doing just this is intellectually and morally defensible, however, it can become transformative and beautiful. Persevering through episodes of doubt matures our faith. There will be days when we believe despite it all, days when we do not, and days when the best I can give is to hope that belief will one day reawaken.
We must become like Mary, who continually sought Jesus, even after His death. Even when she had watched the object of her faith and devotion breathe His last breath, and even when she buried her Master’s lifeless body, and even in her mind must have declared it to be the end- some spark deep inside her refused to die, a stubborn ember of persistent belief. What followed was perhaps the sweetest reunion in all of scripture- a reunion involving both the return of her Teacher and the rising of her confidence and understanding. … There really are blessings that can come only when we persist in making our way toward the tree of life, even and especially when the mists of darkness wrap their tendrils most tightly around us. (Johnson, 130) Show up. Mourn. Hold on. But Stay near Him. “Jesus never forgets a promise. Despite giving Him every reason to, Jesus will never give up on the house of Israel. He will never give up on you.” (Hank Smith, 2025)
How many times do we have to read that He is “mighty to save” before we start to believe it? Those of us who know the Lord can see His ministry continuing—just as it did in His mortal life. He still goes village to village, house to house—one by one. Jesus shows up for us. (Hank Smith, 2025)
“Perhaps He (the Lord) sees you trying to follow your dreams and live your best life, how you want to make a difference. He knows the desires of your heart and the imaginations of your thoughts and how you wonder if you have what it takes to succeed. His grace has the power to lift and enable you.
Maybe He sees you caving to the worry that presses in, how it wakes you, heart pounding, in the night. He knows the inner turmoil, the uneasiness, the tension that sometimes forces you to disengage, to seek solitude, to long for the peace that never comes. His grace has the power to calm and strengthen you.
He sees you struggling through the addiction that chases you, that whispers to you in your idle moments, that won’t lose its hold on you. How you try to be strong, how you sometimes succumb. His grace has the power to intensify and reinforce your fight. To lift, to help you overcome in those small incremental steps.
He sees you battling memories that try to destroy you, that haunt your thoughts in the midnight hours, the traumas that won’t be forgotten. He knows they have a hold over you, over your happiness, how you feel like a hostage to the past. His grace has the power to shift your focus forward so you can leave that past behind.
He sees you aching from the loss, how you mourn the memories you’ll never make together, the life moments they will never see, the parts of the journey they will never know. His grace has the power to bring the healing balm of Gilead for the wounds that feel too deep.
He sees you trying to mend the rift, to understand the enlarging gap, sees you wondering how they can walk away so easily, how they don’t seem to care, how their choices are breaking your family, your heart, how this is breaking you. His grace has the power to enlarge your capacity for patience, for understanding, for love.
He sees you longing for what will complete you and fearing it will never come. How you yearn for love, for companionship, to find security. How you are still walking the journey alone. His grace has the power to encircle you with love, with confidence, with peace.
He sees you trying to overcome the hurt, to let go of the injustice, to rid your soul of that which embitters you. He sees how every day you try to forgive that which seems unforgiveable. How you want to trust, to love, to believe that you have worth. His grace has the power to help you release and let go of what has been broken in you so you can begin to live again.
He sees you embarking on a journey driven by faith, but with a hint of fear. How you are entering into something unexpected that has the potential for so much good in your life, but how it will require more sacrifice than you have ever given before. His grace has the power to empower you, increase your capacity, and illuminate your view. He sees you.” (much of this was Emily Belle Freeman remarks)
Perhaps you have felt as the apostles of old embarking on the sea on a stormy night following your leader, finding yourself uneasy in the storm. Wondering why when you need Him most, he does not seem to be present but brought a pillow and blanket for the ride. Somehow, the Savior managed to sleep through the pounding rain, the waves beating against the ship, the rocking of the boat, thundering and lightening. However, if you recall, amidst all the noise, soundly sleeping, He somehow heard the whisper of His name and arose.
If you are one that has lost hope or feel like you are traveling a lonely road, I hope that you encounter a reminder or ember that may still faintly glow in your growing darkness. Satan seeks to kill those glows and distract us from finding the Lord. “He told Adam and Eve, “Be ashamed of your choices. Hide from God.” He told Cain to avoid work, to sidestep sacrifice, and to take—violently—from his own brother. Esau gave up what he wanted most for what his body wanted at the moment. Joseph’s brothers allowed jealousy to drive decisions that haunted them. David fell because he was not where he was supposed to be when he was supposed to be there. He treated Bathsheba and Uriah not as children of God he was supposed to protect, but as objects to be used. My friends, people are not objects. King Ahab got his friends and his enemies mixed up. That’s a recipe for disaster. The religious leaders in Jesus’s day were so entrenched in defending their religion against the pressures of Hellenization that they forgot the point of being religious in the first place. Laman and Lemuel seemed to have perfected the corrosive art of murmuring. Korihor was educated but so unwise—he bought into the idea that a belief in God was foolish, the effect of a frenzied mind. And for people like King Noah, Amalickiah, Kishkumen, and Gadianton, politics and political power became their god—and their demise.” (Hank Smith 2025)
We cannot allow tasteless temptations and amusements with a bitter aftertaste, fill us with shame, and steal our future. We must remember who we are and why we are here. Regardless of mistakes made or sins committed, we can still have a beautiful, bright future. Why? Because as we saw in times of old and as the modern prophets have taught, the Lord never gives up on the House of Isreal or us. He understands us. He understands why we do what we do. His mercies are suited according to the conditions of the children of men. Our choices, superb or mistakes, do not determine our value, we brought our value with us when we came to Earth. Ask the Lord to help us make decisions that match that value. (Hank Smith, 2025) And keep trying, regardless of how may times it takes. Stop praying on your knees and start praying on your feet. Get up. Work towards belief and better days. Bet on the Lord.
Make a wager. Bet your entire life that the gospel is true and begin to believe, expect, and hope. See the goodness of God. Believing carries risks but so does the choice not to believe. The sacrifices we make along the path of discipleship can seem overwhelming, but the sacrifices we make on the pathway to doubt are every bit as real, although in the moment may not seem as monumental. Believing is not spiritually inferior to knowing, it is okay to merely believe.
In ancient days, sailors relied greatly on ballast- heavy materials, like rocks, placed in the bottom of the boat to stable it on the seas. May we allow God’s words, the scriptures, prophets, and apostles to provide ballast to our spiritual ships as we sail on the tumultuous sea of life. I am learning that when I feel most sharply the gap between who I am and who God needs me to be, I try to remember the best way to shrink the gap, is to work towards making my interactions with others and where I live more like Zion. It will be well for my soul to wear my life out in serving, building, and blessing.
It will not always be rosy nor bright, but we can press forward and must press on. When we feel hurt or those we love have been wounded be the teachings, words, or actions of another- we must do then what we do when we encounter suffering in any arena of human toil- we seek grace and healing from Jesus. Let us remember that the gospel does not shine because it is a fairy tale life but because we push past that and we find deep, substantive, and enduring succor. The real gospel is what remains when fairy tale perceptions dissipate. “The gospel matters so much because in an age of isolation, it binds us into communities; in an untethered time, it binds us by covenant to God and to each other; in an age of ambiguity, it offers meaning; in an age of desperation, it offers hope; in an age of echoing, empty, and careless cosmos, it offers an empathetic, invested, omniscient Heavenly Father and Mother who hearts beat in sympathy with ours.” (Johnson, 226). The rebirth of belief is something worth waiting for and working for.
When I look at the children, youth, and young adults in the greater Memphis area, I am confident that the Church’s brightest days are still ahead. You are faithful. You love the Lord, and you love His Church. You are teaching others the same. This Church is our home, your home. We are brothers and sisters. And please remember—please remember—no matter what happens, you can always come home. (Hank Smith, 2024) May we strive to begin today to work towards the celestial kingdom together. We will only choose the celestial kingdom in the future if I choose to repent now in the present. Let us help, forgive, and love one another. “The Lord gets His work done through His people, and He gets His people done through His work.” As Elder Holland said, I hope “your love for Him and your discipleship in His cause will be the consuming passion of your mortality.” Brothers and Sisters, I know that I, and you are going be redeemed because of the righteousness of our Redeemer. We must believe it and cling on to that belief.
I stand before you today because I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true, it makes us better, aligning our lives with the gospel principles makes us better. I know the Book of Mormon and Holy Bible are the words of God. I am better the days I pray, repent, and read my scriptures. I am forever grateful for the Savior in my life and that He and my Heavenly Father made it possible through the restoration of gospel for me be to be an eternal family with Jake and our 4 children. I love them and who they are helping me become. I love my Savior, our Savior, and the grace He provides. I know that He sees me and he sees you. I testify that if you feel you may be too far gone, you are not. Today, you are right where you need to be. If needed, reach out to your parents, leaders, and loved ones. Rely on the saving merits of God’ grace.
References
Johnson, T. P. (2024). When church is hard. Deseret Book.
Hank Smith. (2025, August 6). Speeches. https://speeches.ensign.edu/devotional/hank-smith-11-2025
