My dearest Papaw

New Year's Eve will forever remain an evening that brings back a sore memory of the night that Papaw suffered a stroke, that led to his eventual death. I was able to spend the night at the hospital with my Papaw on Friday and most of the day Saturday. I enjoyed watching him sleep that night and would not have been any other place. He has been there for me countless times and I felt like I was there him for a little time. Last night, the doctors told us that "he is dying" and there were two options: 1. hospice, taking him off the tubes and allowing him an easier death or 2. prolong his life but he would never make it home, he would go to nursing homes and most likely back to the hospital multiple times (that life would only be sustained a maximum of 6 months). Lucille has to make the final decision and as hard as it is, I only pray that she chooses what he would want. My hearts hurts so deeply and it is hard to imagine him not being here. Papaw has been an integral part of my life, I can not recall a time that he has not been there for me or my family. He drove up for Ginny's first talk, attended Aubree's choir performance, and was all the event that were a big deal to me that a recall. He is an exemplary example of a grandparent. At church Sunday, we sang "God be with you till we meet again" and I felt like I was singing to Papaw, he looked so fragile and non-responsive Friday and Saturday. Yesterday (Sunday), Jake and I decided to make a quick trip down after church but it ended up being much longer than quick. Papaw has been unresponsive for a couple days but last night, the Lord granted me a tender mercy allowing my Papaw to wake up for a few minutes, this will forever be one of my most treasured memories. He knew exactly who I was and said "hey Nae", I told him Jake was here and he said "hey Jake". I told him he had to speak up that I was deaf and he said he was hard of hearing too. So I joked about us both having selective hearing. Then the doctor came in and he was able to state his name but was unaware of where he was. After the doctor pulled us out of the room and spoke with us, I went in and face-timed (call and talk live with each other) with each of my siblings so they could tell him that they loved him and he could tell them. One of my favorites, was when I told him that I was going to have James clean his teeth, he opened his mouth wide for James, and then said Charity could clean them. After all of them had a moment on the phone with him, I stepped aside privately and told them each of the doctors diagnosis. I am sure we cried a thousand tears each last night and mom probably more. Ginny and Aubree sang him "I am a Child of God" and after all left, we brought the boys in and Papaw said in the best voice he could at the time "hey Will" and then a little lower, "hey Chris". My life is better for having a part of it. It will be extremely hard for me to let him go but I can only imagine that Mamaw is there waiting with open arms. Each year my heart has a little ache on Father's Day because that is the day that I lost Mamaw (06/19/1994)and now I am sure each new years eve will be a sore spot for me as well.