Happy Easter

         Today is Easter Sunday. It started out a little rocky with Christopher waking up in a foul mood and struggling with his shirt. Will was anxious to arrive at church a few minutes early for the sacrament. The girls had already left because they needed to be at church early for choir. Church was full today, so full they ran out of water during the sacrament and had to bless it twice. As I watched these young deacons (my boy included) scramble in a reverent manner to know what to do, I was reminded of the importance of the sacrament and that every member that desires to partake of the sacrament must be given that opportunity if they are worthy. Yes, it probably took an extra 10-15 minutes and an adult going to help but served as a personal witness and testimony of the entire reason we meet weekly and attend church...to partake of those sacred emblems. My heart was full watching my son participate in reminding of us that privilege we have weekly. I hope I always remember the feeling of importance I felt today. Ginny accompanied the primary kids on the flute today as the sang.  As I sat and watched her, I reflected on her many talents and kindness towards others. Then I watched she and Aubree sing with the choir and felt more joy in the young women they are becoming.  Both are beautiful on the exterior and interior and we regularly are told how great our girls are.  They are both generous with sincere compliments towards others frequently. I hope they always lift others up.
         After church, we drove to Jackson and carried smoke pork, baked beans, and the fixings for nachos.  I managed to convince Becky to ride with us although she and Charity have not been on the best terms.  Overall, it was a good day and visit but I leave my parents feeling like a bad person often.  Mom told me I was "high and mighty" on things and then Charity let me know that she tries not to ask me at all to watch or help with her kids and said a curse word at me after I told her that she does not realize how much people help her. The crazy thing is that I was trying to help her and mom not argue because she was upset because mom said she needed a break this week and asked Charity to have Natalie watch the kids but then mom said she was going to go up and see Sandra one day this week. Sandra stays upset anytime mom watches Charity's kids.  At times I feel like mom cannot win when it comes to making Sandra happy and helping Charity.  
       It did not help that I also discovered this week I was a very type A personality, but I do have some type B characteristics towards others of being empathetic.  Honestly, tonight I feel like I am a toxic person and instead of bringing joy to others, just add to the burdens. The fact that my spirit and attitude has changed so much from church this morning to this evening shows the importance of keeping focus and self-control.  Life can be so hard for everyone and we are all working to create our own happily every afters in spite of any situation life has handed to us, good or bad. Everyone is working to build their lives. There is a story behind every person and a reason they act the way they do, we must refrain from passing judgment and being critical. It is so hard when you feel like a villain and you have nowhere to turn. Maybe, I should turn to the Savior and utilize the atonement, which is not just for sins but for sorrow and heartache too.