We are back from our travels this summer. We left Texas a little later than anticipated to head with Chris and Crystal for Colorado but it was fine. We took the kids Capulin Volcano in New Mexico and the Great Sand Dunes in Colorado. We usually enjoy visiting with Chris's family and the kids very much enjoy their cousins. It was nice to get back home and settled back into our little lives.
With that said, I do not feel like I've been myself and can't exactly pin point why. I still feel very torn about asking my family not to come over as often but want Jake to know he's my everything (I think in his mind they are over more than they really are or he counts dropping something off for five minutes as a visit). I love them and do not want to hurt their feelings. Yet at other times, I feel like I'm not really good for anyone including Jake, the kids, and my family. I find myself getting frustrated and reading into things, convincing myself that Jake doesn't put me first or value what I think. I'm sure I'm just a little nutty but I must pull myself together. Like anyone, I just want to feel like I'm someone's number one and that am always thought of. I fear that I am not helping Charity through her divorce but possibly making it more difficult on her.
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