It has not been a secret that this year has been particularly challenging for me and my worries about my children. However, I am working through things. Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church, the thought of spiritual gifts crossed my mind and for some they know, others believe, and others merely hope but each are spiritual gifts and neither are equated to being less of a disciple of the Lord. Believing in things can be complex and is often constantly at battle with doubts and sometimes belief may diminish for a minute but that is okay. I may be uncertain on some things but I am still okay and am no less than others whom may know. I can still contribute to the good of God's kingdom.  Sometimes being faithful and knowing is intuitive and other times, just plain hard. There are some days I believe despite the hard, other days I doubt giving it my best of plainly hoping, and maybe even hoping that one day the spiritual questions may diminish and I will be stronger....but for know, I hold on to the good and seek the good.  I think it was Lehi toward the beginning of 2nd Nephi that said something like "choose the good part"...I choose the good. Spiritual confidence does not have to come before me acting in good faith...that confidence can come from acting. 

 I have began to read a book When Church is Hard by Tyler Johnson and one part that stung me today stated: "We largely come to a sense of our own identity by learning about how others talk about, understand, and portray us." It hit me like a ton of bricks...what have my children heard me say about them? What I said to them? Am I helping they identify themselves?