Today, well primarily since getting off work, has not been my best day. And most of it has been me, I’m just irritable. I would love to say oh, it’s just hormones and I’m sure that’s a contributing factor but I think some has lingered from yesterday and me being too sensitive.
Yesterday was a rough morning trying to get to church. Will didn’t have his talk written so I woke him up early to do that and then get ready for church, which he did not and was not ready when it’s time to go. He struggles to get moving in the mornings, so I’m accustomed to that but I think I was frustrated because I had so many small things to do too before getting out the door and no help. We argued most of the time in the car, which once again, I should’ve been better on and said things out of frustration not true. He decided to rip his talk to pieces and wouldn’t come in initially (all this on a morning where Jake was getting a new counselor). It was hard and I was feeling really crummy and that I did little good.
But the Lord saw fit to send two tender mercies or reminders that I’m not as bad as I may think, although I have really big moments of weaknesses. During Jake’s new counselor’s testimony, he shared when his family was preparing to move to the area, he thought he was calling the bishop but reached me instead. He stated I told him how wonderful our youth and primary program was and invited them to the Saturday evening session of stake conference. He and his wife snuck in the back and then heard someone say their names and it was I. He shared that the bishop and I sat in the feet back with them and I told them in the Bartlett 2nd Ward, people do not sit alone. And since they arrived in Bartlett, they’ve never felt alone. That was reminder one from the Lord.
Reminder two came as I decided to attend young women’s with Jake because he was teaching. During the lesson, the president told the girls that she and I aren’t friends, we do not talk often but in the last several months, she had received texts from me, when difficult things have happened in her life within 10 minutes of them happening and it must’ve been me following the Spirit.
Oh and one more gentle reminder from my Heavenly Father yesterday was when we were in the stake presidents office for the setting aparts and there was a painting hanging on the wall I’d never seen. It was of Christ in the garden and an angel beside Him offering Him comfort. I did not realize it yesterday but I reflected on that painting multiple times today and it brought comfort. Even my Redeemer who provides strength and comfort may have needed the same s moments in His life.
So needless to say, I think I let my frustrations and feelings of inadequacies roll over from yesterday. I didn’t say much after work today but just felt irritated. After dinner, I decided I needed some alone time so I went to Kroger. As I was loading the car to find come home, I think Jake realized I had stepped out because he called asking where I was then preceded to tell me Will backed into car. This is his third little fender bender, all backing into a non-moving object. I think we both stayed calm but it felt heavier for me when I got home. We literally just bought that car (2014 Toyota Prius) last month for him. In the end, it’s just a thing and he’s much more important.
We are hoping that Will is able to go back to the temple soon. I have noticed improvements in his honesty. He had been honest at times, like today with the Prius, that in the past he would’ve been dishonest about. Additionally, he seems to be better with his temper too. The youth went to the temple on 2/6 and had a good turnout. I was sad Will wasn’t there.
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