Let’s see where to begin. It always seems that summer escapes too quickly. This is the first year in quite some time that we have not traveled more. We helped Charity with the kids for several weeks, it can be more exhausting, but I love those kids and her. It is hard to believe that in two weeks Ginny will be back at school and that Aubree leaves in a little over three weeks.  My mamma heart is excited for them but hurts all at the same time. It is a feeling that is so hard to explain.  I know I have to let go some and trust that we have raised them well, but I fear to that there are things that I neglected to teach them or did not reinforce as I should have. 

    Sundays seem to have gotten longer with Jake’s schedule, which is 100% okay.  I do try to make visits with him when I am able to but there are some that I cannot.  He is giving it his very best and I may be bias but I think he does a fine job. 

 

Boys camp and shenanigans

The week before camp was great. On Father's Day, we had a little obstacle course in the back yard set up by Jake, we had lots of laughs. We also had Charity's kids but they were great too. Jake set up a little date night for us on the back patios after he set up his television outside, which he was so proud of.  We really do have the absolute family patriarch for our family, I still do not know why Heavenly Father felt so inclined to bless me like He did with Jake and my kids.

The boys were able to leave for boys camp 6/30-7/2 and Jake was able to accompany them.  The girls were both house sitting for people so I pretty much had the house to myself. Also, while the boys were at camp, I had my last day of summer school (6/30).  On Thursday (6/30), I hurt my hand helping move a piano and ended up at the clinic to get it looked at as it quickly was swollen and disfigured. I did not want to go to the doctor but my sister, Becky, and Ginny insisted that I did. As I was waiting to be seen Jake sent me a picture of him and the boys. It ended up being a busted vein and bruised tissue but was tender.   That Friday night, I up and decided to go to the temple randomly.  I am very glad that I did. That evening in the temple, I prayed to Heavenly Father to know He was there but did not get any overwhelming feeling there. However last night (7/4) as I was reading my devotional book, after a hard evening with my boys before fireworks, the last paragraph hit me and I could not help but to weep and see it as a silent answer to my prayer in the temple the previous Friday.  The scripture that was being referenced is Deuteronomy 7:7 and it talks about how you do not have to be mighty to be loved or noticed. The last paragraph began with: "Do you ever have one of those days when you look back and wonder if you were enough? If anyone even recognized your effort?" And ends with: "The Lord has chosen you because He thinks you are special. You don't have to be more than anyone else; He knows your potential. He has chosen you."  It hit me that although I have not landed an admin job (I am really trying to trust in Him and He knows what is best) or lost my temper with my boys, the Lord is aware of me.  I have hard days but His love is set upon me.  

Another tender mercy was Jake was conducting this past Sunday at church and shared a moment where he had felt insignificant.  He said the Spirit brought to his mind the primary song "Give said the Little Steam" and he was reminded that no matter his size, he can influence people wherever he goes and help the grass grow greener. As I think more on it, that was probably also an answer to my prayer that he shared that.  

We spent the 4th of July evening at Rebekah and Adam's.  We had burgers and then walked over to watch the Bartlett fireworks. Mom was also here so it made it more enjoyable.  I feel fortunate to be able to spent the time with her. After we got home from the fireworks and the boys all showered, we called everyone down for scripture and prayer and Riley and Christopher had decided to dye their hair, why not?  I figured tomorrow was a new day and I would make it better.  Today (7/5) was a somewhat eventful/busy day- Will had his first appointment for braces, I had a closing that almost covers his braces price (tender mercy again), we had to get a tick off of Charlie's penis, took Riley to El Mezcal for an early birthday dinner, and cleaned out Christopher's closet. I had another mom fail as I lost my cool for no reason with Aubree.  She is off work today so I asked her to try to go to institute and she did. Now that does not warrant me losing my cool with her but I worry about her not being involved with church activities and she refuses to do anything with the Young Single Adults.  It is 100% fine if she chooses not to attend the branch on Sunday but she could do some of the weekly activities when she is off work.  I have also asked her sister to invite her but that has not happened yet either.  I was hoping Ginny could help make the transition easier.  I fear she will not be involved at Utah State either and it concerns me. I want my children involved in opportunities for spiritual experiences and developing relationships with peers whom can be positive influences (although I also know that can come from other Christians but I need those whom can encourage temple worthiness.)