This past weekend was "Time out for Women" and a very uplifting weekend for me, especially since I honestly did not want to go and even thought of reasons to leave early or not go but I am glad I did. Additionally, Jake was out of town for work so child care was going to have to be arranged. I guess I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it a few years ago. It just seems so expensive ($65) for the weekend, plus parking and food, and hotel for those hundreds of women who come from out town; even though my ticket is free because I am captain each time. Honestly, the only person I really cared to see was Michael McLean. However, this year I was asked about three months ago to step into the position of team lead because the lady who usually does it was unable due to sad situations going on in he personal life but a remarkable and kind woman she is. So in addition to captain duties, I took on lead duties as well, which became a lot more work but a huge blessing because I went! In 48 hours, I was running on three hours of sleep but the Lord blessed me with the energy and strength that pushed me through the weekend. Friday night, I cam home from work and showered and left again because I had to be at the facility at 7, so I slept for 30 minutes in the van. Some of the speakers are now my favorite and I loved the music of Jericho Road as well. I love that each presenter is so approachable as well. There were some speakers that I missed because I was fulfilling my team duties but I look forward to receiving the cd to listen to them, especially Lynn McLean and Brad Wilcox. My favorite of the ones I heard was Laurel Christensen. Here are a few thoughts that I jotted down from her message:
"
When disappointment
and discouragement strike—and they will—you remember and never forget
that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of
fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our
protection [see 2 Kgs. 6:16–17]. They will always be there, these armies
of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed."
—Jeffrey R. Holland, "For Times of Trouble," Devotional Address, March 18, 1980
Sometimes we use the notion of God's will as a way to abdicate the responsibility to excercise our own. The tragedy is not getting what you want but not wanting it anymore. When you stop praying for what your heart really wants, your heart stops wanting what you weren't willing to pray for. God will not waste a miracle on a doubter. And lastly, Fear gives you a little glimpse of what the future may by if you do not overcome them." Exodus 14:13-14 teaches us that the Lord will fight for us if we allow him, so I need to open up and let the Lord begin to help me fight.
As lead, I arrange all the rides, staff, set-up, etc but that also became a huge blessing because some of the presenters come with me to church. After the event Saturday, I asked Brad Wilcox to teach my Sunday school class on the Atonement because that is what his topic was yesterday. The youth had no clue how lucky they were today. Brad Wilcox taught the lesson and invited Michael McLean to join him in class and he sang "one of the ninety and nine". The spirit was incredibly strong and many tears were shed by all. In summary, he taught the Atonement is about death, forgiveness, carrying our burdens, and becoming like God. There is an aspect of the Atonement that makes us a better people and we invite all people to come unto Christ but becoming like Christ is the goal. Jesus is there to help us to become more like Him. The message of the Atonement is to keep going. Brad asked the young men who have passed sacrament, if they have ever had to re-read the prayer or do it again, multiple times and they replied yes, he then explained to the young women that they have no idea how hard it is to read one paragraph. And explained that it doesn't matter how long it takes to get it perfect, we keep trying and says it the same with our life that it doesn't matter how long the perfecting process takes....do not give up!!! Then Michael McLean shared the 14th article of faith that his father taught him and sang one of the ninety and nine. Michael McLean stated this in summary after he explained the youth were faithful for being there: "
I’m not a morning person. The only 5:30 I’m very familiar with is
the one in the afternoon. I join other non-morning people in
proclaiming that if God really meant for us to see the sunrise He’d have
scheduled it later in the day.
This is not to say that I
haven’t ever seen a sunrise or that I’ve never experienced the other
5:30. I have. It’s just that I tend to arrive at dawn by staying up
rather than getting up. That’s why it was so strange the Sunday morning
I woke up at five am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I stumbled into my
writing room and picked up a copy of what Mark Twain labeled
“chloroform in print” and started to read.
Why is it, I
wondered, that the lost souls get so much attention in the scriptures.
If you’re a prodigal son and come home your dad throws a party. If
you’re a world-class persecutor on the road to Damascus you get a light
and a voice. Even if you’re a sheep that strays from the fold the good
shepherd leaves the ninety and nine good guy sheep in search of the lost
one.
The argument can be made that all of us are lost, and
these stories remind us that no matter how far we’ve strayed or how far
we’ve fallen, there’s hope and a way back. These stories are EXACTLY
what you need to hear when you’re feeling lost and alone.
But
what about the people who aren’t particularly lost, but may feel
unnoticed? What about the ones who are carpooling cub scouts, serving in
the soup kitchens, taking clothing to good will, donating blood,
singing in the choir, volunteering at the hospital, visiting the nursing
home, tutoring students, teaching Sunday School, coaching little league
and doing the thousand of other activities the regular good guys
do...without any spotlights or fanfare, without seeking any credit,
without building up themselves up, but rather, wearing out their lives
more or less being the kind of people the good shepherd doesn’t have to
worry about. What about them?
I was rather surprised at how intensely I asked this question and how quickly I got a musical answer.
I am one of the ninety and nine.
I’m not perfect but basically I’m doing fine.
I have not lost my way, I have not gone astray.
I’m just one of the ninety and nine.
And I’m here in the heart of the fold.
I’m not mindless but I try to do as I’m told.
I’m not tempted to run and become a lost one.
I’m just here in the heart of the fold.
So why is my shepherd coming this way toward me?
He’s holding his arms out and calling my name.
He’s calling my name, but how can this be?
I’m just one of the ninety and nine.
I have stumbled and fallen, but I’ve kept in line..
I’m not one he must seek…I’m not all that unique.
I’m just one of the ninety and nine.
So why is my shepherd treating me like his lost lamb? He’s searching to
find…me…and he’s holding me now, He’s holding me now, and teaching me
Who I am.
And why am I feeling like I’m the only one here?
It’s like…it’s like I’m his favorite…
And He takes me aside and He sweetly confides
These remarkable words in my ear. He says:
“You’re one of the ninety and nine.
Have you any idea how brightly you shine?
You are safe in this fold and it’s time you were told that I know where you’ve been,
So I know where you’ll be
Because all of your life you’ve been following me.
You are more than just one of the sands of the sea
Or just one of the ninety and nine…
You are mine…You are mine…You are mine…You are mine.”
Guess I’m one of the ninety and nine.
After
writing this song a new paradigm started settling in. I started seeing
certain stories in the Bible revealing Jesus as being less critical
than I used to imagine. For years I thought that Doubting Thomas was a
bit of a disappointment to Jesus because he was a fellow who couldn’t
just take somebody else’s word for it. But now, I imagine the exchange
between the skeptical apostle and the resurrected Master as being far
more understanding and far less critical of the personality that needed
to see to believe. Remember, Thomas wasn’t abandoning ship after Jesus
died. He was just having a hard time putting all the pieces together.
My
new, post 90&9 feeling is that if we’re doing the best we can and
we need to see to believe, then surely we will see what we need to if
that’s what helps us on our journey to follow Him. And if seeing is not
that important to us because we have believing blood, other blessings
will be available, as needed. Whatever blessings we need we’ll receive.
I’m feeling that wherever we are on the path, that’s exactly where God will meet us and walk with us and
teach us and encourage us and love us if we’ll let him. If His burden
is easy and His yoke is light, that’s how He makes it so. He meets us
where we are. In the fold or out, and lets us feel what perfect loves
feels like. Life is hard enough without distancing ourselves from the
One who has been willing to do whatever it takes to help us become all
we have the potential to become.
I’m not sure how long it will
be until I read these scriptural stories and see yet another way of
thinking about things that I missed earlier. But I’m open and waiting."
14th article of Faith: "We believe in meetings, all that have been scheduled, all that are now
scheduled, and we believe that there will yet be many great and
important meetings scheduled. We have endured many meetings and hope to
be able to endure all meetings. Indeed, we may say that if there is a
meeting or any excuse for meeting, we seek after these things."
