1 week photos

Our little fella is so small. At his 2 week check up, this past week, he weighed in at a whopping 7 lbs and 8 ozs. He is very alert and stays up for hours at a time. This past week, Michael and his family also got into town for the summer. We are excited to be able to spend some time with them. Also, Christopher had his first sleep over on June 18 (1 week old), he stayed with Sandra and Nana at Nana's house but not to fear, his big sister, Ginny stayed too. Maybe, I am a little crazy but I needed a full night of rest and they are capable to care for him. Jake and I took Will and Aubs to see Toy Story 3 that night too...they enjoyed it. We also spent time this week getting the house ready to sell and we finally put up the crib for the baby.

Adjusting to 4

Adjusting to having four little ones is a bit more demanding than I realized or maybe it is partly because it is summer and they are all home, including their daddy. The kids all seem to be doing very well with the baby and are like little leeches. Ginny is the baby hog and loves to hold him every time he makes a sound. Aubree loves to hold him too but more so likes to try to walk with him because she has seen her sister do it. Aubree sings to him almost every time she hold him, Christopher is serenaded with "I am a Child of God" and "Follow the Prophet". Will loves to try to help feed him and we have caught him twice with the baby in tow as well. It is cute how they each love him in their own little way. It has been an adventure too and someone is always hurt too. Ginny fell the other day and hit her shoulder pretty well, she swore it as broke but it is just bruised and swollen. The next day, Aubree hit her head and has a little bump but from the way she carried on, you would have thought it was much worse. Two ice packs, a towel, and a fruit roll up later, she was good. And Will, he is just clumsy and runs into everything or trips. He looks so big next to his brother too. As for me, I am tired. I forgot how tiresome a newborn can be. Jake has been getting up with at night some too, but I find myself still waking up too and just listening. I do not think the hardest thing for me has been the physical adjustment but my emotions have been a little off the scale, which I think exhausts me. I worry a lot but am hoping it all passes soon. It seems, although most likely unintentional, those we love the most can hurt us the most. In the past, I certainly have said some unkind things to those I care the most about and wish that I could erase them. Luckily, they forgave and I hope they realize that the comments were most likely said out of anger or hurt on my part but that it no way justifies them. From my mistakes, I have tried to understand that often when people do or say hurtful thing that is because they are hurting or there is an underlying issue. I know that I have been greatly blessed and it makes me sad for the times that I have hurt or offended others. Sandra had a comment up the other day that I enjoyed and I think it can relate to each of us in different perspectives in our lives. It is a quote from CS. Lewis, " We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

Christopher Wade Farrell

I am happy to say that we have added the newest addition to our family. He was born at 1:09 p.m on Friday, June 11th, 2010 (he waited until Friday to ensure mom and Sandra could be there). Delivery was probably my quickest thus far, although I have been having contractions for a week. We left for the hospital close to 5:00 a.m. and a friend came to sit with the kids until James could get them. I was dilated to a 4.5 on my own, when we arrived but stayed that way for a little while and was put on pitocin and that got me to a 7 in hours. Then mom, Sandra, and Jake were talking about the other rooms contractions closer than mine and the women progressing, (the monitor that measures my contractions, shows others as well). So, I rolled off my side and laid on my back, joking that I had to beat them, like I have control over that, but I went from a 7 to a 10 in quickly, I want to say within 15 minutes, so maybe being on back helped....doctor arrived, scrubbed up, and had me push on my 2nd contraction after she was there. He was born with 1 contraction and 3 pushes. Sandra was able to cut the cord. I feel truly blessed that not only was Jake in there but also mom and Sandra because they are such prominent people in the lives of my children.
After he was born, he had a tad trouble breathing, so was sent to NICU. But was never given oxygen or an IV. We were able to visit him up there but the girls could not...and they were so excited to see him. They spent most the day at James's house and mom and Sandra stayed with him that night at my house. Some days, I honestly do not know what I would do without them. The girls came up and had girl time with me for a few hours while we waited on Christopher to be brought to the room and we had a few visitors. They were ecstatic went he was brought in. Later that evening, Jake and Will came up while the girls went with Sandra, Nana, and Papa to Elle's dance recital and I had some time with my boys. Then we had a couple more visitors, including James and Kara.

The poor child did not have a name until the early hours of this morning. We knew it would be Christopher and the middle name would be Michael or Thomas. However, obviously that has changed. Yesterday, I asked Jake what Tommie's middle name was and it was a name that had crossed my mind earlier with Kammon and Jabren (the other 2 names I liked for first names). I had always been under the impression from Jake it was a different name and by different, I mean weird....but it was Wade, so without his consent, I threw that in the mix and the internal debate continued. Then last night, there was reason for the nurses to have check on my a little more often, just my luck, and I reflected a lot on the relationships I have with my family...I was actually feeling great gratitude for Sandra and my mom and all they do to help me and the love that is evident they have for my kiddos. I thought about how special that relationship is with the women in my life and then thought about my brothers and how their relationship is unsurpassable. I know of no other 2 men closer than them. Then my thoughts turned to Jake and although manifest differently the love and relationship he has with his brothers. Then my mind went racing and I pulled out my paper and pen and started writing name options again, weighing in all kinds of family names and thought about my nephew and how Amy, my sister in law manifests her love for Michael , by naming Seth after Michael and his best friend/brother, James. My heart became full and Christopher Wade just felt right. so, my inspiration came from the relationship that I have with my family, especially my sisters and mom, and the bond of my brothers. So, why not, name our second son, after two of the most influential men in his father's life. Will was named after the favorite men in my life. With all of that said, I pray that I have in no way hurt feelings or made anyone feel less important than the other. We are each blessed to come from strong, loving families and both are equally important in the lives of our family and complete it. The names stem from his father's side but the bond or inspiration from mine. Thomas was a family name that could come from both sides and Michael would have come from my brother but I am going out on a limb.

Anxiously Awaiting

So, I am at the stage in pregnancy where you just can't sleep because of discomfort and pain. Also, I have begun to sick again. I had done very well this pregnancy and not had to be put in for IV's or anything but last week, I had to get one. I was also having contractions 2 minutes apart but nothing else. I have been dilated to a 2 for a few weeks and can not seem to get things moving....this one may also be a little stinker. The doctor has me scheduled to be induced next week and as anxious as I am to have the baby, I am not sure that I want to be induced. I still do not have the bed or pack-n-play up nor do I have his clothes all nicely put in a little dresser or container but I am not the least bit stressed about it....maybe it is all too surreal to me still. However, I am attempting to help dilation along and have been to the gym regularly this week and walked on the treadmill for about an hour or a little longer each day, maybe something will happen. Oh, we were rear ended Tuesday evening but that was not a big deal, we were stopped at a light and the gentleman hit us. We pulled off and there was not much damage to the van, so we were not even sure it would be worth filing a claim but he filed one. Come to find out, the damage is about $2500 worth. We are not sure if we will get the van fixed right now or just use the money for this summer, since we do not have income. With all that said, life is good for our family. The girls like to guess when the baby will come and every time, I have a pain, they ask, "is it time?", it is too cute for me to get too bothered by it.

Peace

Last night, I was able to attend a session at the temple and a sealing for a couple in our ward. There are times when I believe the sessions creep by but last night, it went by quickly for me. As I sat through it, I felt complete peace and that was much needed for me. You see, a couple weeks ago, I went through a crazy spell, maybe pregnancy hormones, but nonetheless, a crazy spell and I felt like I failed at many things, including my callings, seeing that I was Primary president for right about a year and released, to be called to Relief Society presidency, and released from Relief Society presidency at right under a year too. I know I did my best but somehow Satan can sneak in and catch us at a weak moment and we allow ourselves to feel diminished. I allowed that to happen for a couple days. The crazy left but being at the temple brought me a new sense of peace that I needed to feel in my life, in general. We have so many things happening in our lives and changes being made this summer that maybe I was experiencing inner stress as well but last night, I knew everything would work out.
On a different note, I took the kids to a little splash park tonight and they enjoyed that. I should have prepared a little for the arrival of out new little one but for some reason, I keep putting it off. It is all still surreal to me, although I could safely deliver at anytime. The poor baby has no where to sleep right now, diapers, or clothes in anything....I am not usually a procrastinator (procrastination is one of my pet peeves) but have literally done nothing. Maybe in my mind, he will not come until things are done. I do not enjoy pregnancy but at the same time I am not ready to have another baby. We did not for see our little summer trials when we conceived and I know bringing another child into the world is a great responsibility and with each child financial obligations increase. However, I also know with each child, love increases and happiness. I wonder my new little man will look like and what disposition he will have. I just hope that I can prepare each of my children to return to our Father in heaven on day, to enjoy life, serve others, see the good in people, and be happy.