This is a story about a man with no talent going to look at rocks. Just like the great explorers Merriweather Lewis and William Clark we went to explore the Wild West. Just a man who knows too little, his wife, a favorite teenage daughter Ginny, Ginny's sister, Aubree, and unfortunately two wild boys. These are there stories.
As the time came to depart for the road trip I could barely contain my excitement. I researched different places to go and a few surprises unknown to my wife and children. We were packed to look at big rocks and little bones. This summer was going to be awesome.
We met my brother and the fun commenced the first hike was to look at plants with a few lava rocks. I even smelt a tree. It was great to see all the grass and how my kids reacted to a turkey. We hopped back into the cars and were off. The next morning we went to a garden. The type my wife could handle and maybe keep alive. We saw the big rocks and I even got an inch off the ground with one. Although, I went up the biggest rock of all (by train). This summer was already proving to be worth it. We drove some then went to dinosaur ridge "for the boys". It was a 4 mile hike and we got to see plenty of rocks and even two bones. It was great seeing my kids faces light up when they saw the car. It was even better reading about a college I wouldn't have been able to get into.
I was sad to bid my brother good-bye, but my wife insisted we see hers. I had to think of places we could hike or walk around. We decided to stop at temple square which was absolutely gorgeous. It reminded me how much I missed Utah. I also got to see one of my best friends. I was nervous what he would think of the shine on top of my head, but I decided true friends don't judge. I was able to eat 2 tres leches. I knew I would burn the calories soon enough. On the way to Idaho I had my wife read to me, for I could not read all of it. I could also use ask what the words meant, plus audible reads WAY to fast. Although, I understood the book some after watching the tv show.
We made it to Boise and I found a niece that truly loved me. I didn't know what that felt like until now. I felt so free around them. I got to dress like a nerd and watch a movie I had been dying to see. What a wonderful rock adventure. We went on a nature walk. It was fun to see the dead or caged animals. The search for a baby fawn ended like a search for my hair would (in failure). My secret motive behind the hikes were to get my family to smell as bad as I do on a good day. After we walked around a bit we went to the playground. The sign said that it was meant for 2-12 year olds, so I knew that I had the brain capacity to go. I went and played with my 6 year old son missing the days when I was short and not too heavy for the equipment. I even got to swing and direct traffic with my son. However, to my dismay I realized how unloyal a 3 year olds love was. Annie only came back to me in times of desperate need. She got over captain jake pretty quickly. She was already acting like a woman. Not saying what she meant and pretending to like others more then me. That afternoon was perfect for hiking and playing. To end the day we went to get sno cones. Naturally, Renee is wearing more then she ate. The people who are going to have to clean that are going to be very happy.
We went to a gorge and I saw the best thing ever... Rocks. Especially my favorite lava rocks. It was great. The are around it was desolate, but no one pays attention to grass. At least I don't, especially when there are rocks. I even spotted more wild animals then I have on our other hikes. We found a lizard and groundhog. What a successful hike. Our second stop was better then the first. As were were driving, trying to find a parking spot and the park, I saw millions of…lava rocks. My heart swelled, I was in the presence of so many rocks. Since I lack common sense I decided that me and my kids should put our foot in the freezing water. Obviously I lost, but Ginny won (as always). On our third stop I saw a massive rock that had people's name on it. I wish I could put my name on a big rock. We climbed a rock and I was unable to get to the very top. However, Ginny did in 12 seconds she is so amazing (and my favorite). Our final stop was at snake river. I was somewhat excited to see it. Although, I was very excited to see the rocks. They had a gorilla rock I thought it looked just like me. I have had so much fun spotting and seeing rocks.
We went to grand Teton and it was amazing. We went white water rafting and I tried to kill my daughter... twice. We also went on a hike and climbed rocks. All of us had on ok footwear, but Ginny had on the best, Chacos. Finally, the time arrived to go to Yellowstone. I was so excited. Being the nerd I was, I thought it best to wake my family up at 4am. Of course I drove because Renee wouldn't know where to look for ro-- I mean animals. Yellowstone was my favorite because you got to look at rocks, animals, and trees. Plus, you got to drive most of it. As Christopher would say "I win." However, Aubree stunk up the car. We don't know how we can teach her to control herself. We saw 2 mommas, a preteen, and 3 cubs. I was petrified. We also saw a variety of other animals and license plates. We saw a moose and baby, a Sandhill crane family, a ton of bison, eagle, elk, deer, wolf, and a coyote/fox. I even saw a tree me and my wife really enjoyed "petrified tree". It was a tree and rock, my thoughts were turned to how I could convince my wife to move here. We had the best of both worlds. The next day was tiring. We hiked a really long hike all up hill and almost were attacked by a bear. If that weren't enough I also made them hike 358 stairs down and 358 stairs up. Just to see a waterfall (no rocks). I had to stop every chance I got, but Ginny did it without stopping. She never ceases to amaze me. I stopped for ice cream three times that day and I spent $50 on fudge and sweets. I wonder why I had to stop on the stairs. To end the day, we went to the mud volcanoes and I realized they smelt a lot better then I did. Our last day, was MUCH less tiring. We went to see old faithful and I watched a movie about it. We also walked around to see other geysers. It was a slow walk and we sat down for a while. However, when we were done at Yellowstone early that afternoon we went into town to eat. I ate pizza and was amazed by Ginny's card tricks. We then went to the RV to play games and relax. My brother and I left to go read signs. It took a while because we didn't know how to read. When we got back we watched a movie all about me " The Man Who Knew Too Little." Then we left to pack and shower. It was hard saying goodbye, but we had a blast looking at rocks.
