Christmas Break

We headed to Texas the day after school let out for Christmas break. It was a rough couple of days between trying to get everything ready and the actual trip. Arriving home from school Wednesday the plan was to pack and prepare to leave, however, Jake had a very bad headache so it fell upon me. Tuesday I wanted to do those things and wrap gifts but Jake wanted to attend a movie, so that was what we did. I wrapped presents in the dark, packed my things in the dark, washed two loads of laundry and put away, and got the kids ready.  Jake went to bed about 5 pm and woke up about 3am the next morning with a slight headache still but he packed and prepared to leave.  We did not leave until 7ish because I wanted to sleep a till 6 (I did not get to bed until 1am).  We pulled out and were off after Jake's donut stop, he gets donuts every time we leave town.  To our dismay about two hours into the trip his headache was back in full force so I took over driving.  Ginny discovered a brilliant marketing idea, when she saw an advertisement for windshield wipers, buy one get one free. She was unaware they were not sold in packs of two but individually. We all enjoyed a nice giggle.  We stopped in Abilene to have dinner with Tommie and Karen and then hit the road again. Everyone fell asleep except Christopher and I. Out of the blue, he said: “Mom why was I born with this voice? Will I have speech forever? (as he spells it because I can’t understand “voice”) My heart wept from inside. How do you respond to that? We chatted about he is teaching his family perseverance and it’s just fine to be different. We are all different in lots of ways. He’s just not quite sure why he speaks minion. He gets very frustrated but has learned to say things very slow one word at a time and to spell. If we can’t differentiate the letter he’s trying to say, he sings his alphabet and stops at the desired letter (pretty resourceful kid, I suppose).  I was so sad for him and it weighed heavily on my mind, so I put on facebook it made me sad and not sure how to answer. The responses were so sweet. "It’s a beautiful voice. One that’s special and unique, and all his own." (Charity), "
Oh, this breaks my heart! He is the sweetest boy and hearing him sing every Sunday is one of my favorite things and makes me so happy! His smile and attitude lift so many!" (Sherri Tanner Nelson), "I think he has this this trial to all of us and because what he says is important and we need to stop and make sure we are all listening. Bless his sweet heart." (Eileen Seaman), and many, many more. Then after getting settled for the night and falling asleep a little after midnight, Aubree comes to get me at 12:54 that Christopher has thrown up everywhere, so I head to clean that up, shower him, and begin washing bedding.  Back to bed I ago, to be awaken at 2:38 that Will is vomiting, seriously?!?! On top of cleaning up after Will, I might as well through the bedding in the dryer, and start another load, I hear Jake asking me to get him a cold we cloth for his head.  Needless to say, it was a long two nights.  But here’s the thing- motherhood is HARD, regardless of circumstances. There are times that I wonder, probably as do most mothers, what could I have done or should I do? Have I done enough? Was Aubree’s autism (she’s very high functioning and we chose not to tell her as to not give excuses for unacceptable behaviors) , Will’s colon issues, or Christopher’s apraxia, anything I could have prevented or eased? (I can’t help Ginny’s air-headedness sometimes and we just laugh at her-when you see her again ask her about windshield wiper marketing). Motherhood is not all bliss and we are all trying our best. Sure there are great moments, rock-star moments, where you think- man I’m good, or I got this, and peaceful times but it’s okay when people say “treasure this, you’ll look back and miss it” that you want to throw a pie at them because in the moment cleaning up pee or vomit, or getting woke up at 3:00 am, I will not miss those times. Rant over- moms, just know, the struggle is real and we are enough.   
This morning we went to church, it was sacrament only but it was a good little service. Carols were sung with a short history of the carols given ahead of time. My favorite was the story behind the "I heard the bells on Christmas Day", he had lost his wife, the Civil War was waging, and his son had secretly enlisted in the Civil War and been severely wounded.  To him, all hope was lost and there was no peace, yet he found it.  My mind went to the story that Lynn had shared last night about finding out about her biological father (Jim West) and the type of man that he was.  She also discovered that she has 5 (although one is deceased) other siblings that are good people. This was all discovered after one of them reached out to her and she was reluctant to respond or to meet up with them but is now thankful a couple months ago, she did meet them.  We can feel peace and love in our hearts and come to know the beauty of the Savior. It is my prayer this holiday season, we open our hearts more Christ and seek to become more like Him, looking for the good in others and serving them. 

December is Here

December in our house begins with a visit form Zang, the elf, which I have somehow lost over the last week.  However, he made his appearance by hanging new sleep socks for our four crazies on the fireplace.  Do not worry, he did plenty of mischief before he suspiciously disappeared.  December always proves to be a busy month filled with holiday festivities. We took the kids to zoo lights and the following week, I took them to a living nativity.  The plan was for all of us to go but Jake had a headache so mom, Charity, and her kids came. It was an enjoyable evening. This morning I was telling Jake that December birthdays are just another day. My mom had called and wanted to try to do something for my birthday next week but here is the reality of a birthday the week before Christmas, yes, all intention are good and people really do want you to feel special but there are kids programs and everyone gets lost in the preparation of Christmas, less than a week away. I ran a few errands with the boys this morning and came home to find miscellaneous post it notes around the entire house all day today.  This had to have been per-meditated because some of the item were purchased last night when he and Aubree went out for a little bit because Ginny had friends over watching a show.  I first noticed in my purse when I went to get a coupon out of my purse for our lunch. There was a large chocolate bar in my purse with a note about how he (Jake) loves me and thinks it is funny that I sneak chocolate into church. When I questioned when he out it in my purse, he said when I went out to grab more groceries.  My second one was discovered on popcorn with a shore note on how he enjoyed watching movies with me, thirdly was on nacho cheese and how I like nacho cheese with my popcorn, oh, so good.  The next four discovered was a vanilla sugar scrub in the bath, a new lotion (for my soft touch, of course), a homemade candle with rose petals, and lastly new sleep socks so I do not put my cold feet on him when we go to bed.  Jake is the romantic in this relationship and I LOVED all my little notes.

Attempted family photos

Yesterday, we drove back down to Jackson to attempt, keyword is attempt, to take family photos and to spend time with everyone again.  The kids just LOVE to be together. After the pictures the kids had a cotton picking contest and dad, known as "Papa", got the kids hyped up to go get the eggs from the chickens.  The kids ran back with excitement because the eggs gathered were multi-colored.  What no one knew was that in the morning, Papa had went and dyed the eggs so the littles would think that the chickens laid colorful eggs.  The house was very loud but so worth it. The pictures did not turn out that great but it was worth paying for the memories.  Although, there are several times where I feel like the outcast, I love my family.