Church went well. I LOVED having all 4 of my kids with me. We had the Young Men over for a sock exchange and then hung out as a family for a bit. We celebrated the New Year with New York, so I could go to bed but the girls came back home a few minutes before midnight and rang in the new year. We are blessed beyond measure.
It has been a very busy break for the Farrell crew. We arrived home from Cloudcroft Wednesday evening and left Thursday morning (12/28) for Georgia for Charity and Owen to be sealed on 12/29. We stopped in Jackson on the way for Will to take his driver's test and had lunch with my mom. Then we made it to Nashville and stopped at Opry Mills mall for a little shopping for the kids. I believe they had an enjoyable time. It was a lovely weekend overall and I so enjoy having all my babies with me. I do know that the time is limited as they are each growing up and the girls are branching out more. Charity and Owen were sealed on 12/29. On 12/30, we had ice cream cake for Will and spent the day at Stone Mountain.
Happy 16th birthday Will! He is the most inclusive person I know. He is diligent in reading his scriptures and prays regularly to build his relationship with our Heavenly Father.
He’s also clumsy and forgetful but we are so glad he’s our son. We love you, son.
Facts about Will by Will:
I love my family.
My favorite thing to do is play with Chris
I love learning new things about building
You currently want to be when you grow up: Marine Biologist
Your favorite color is: Cyan
Your favorite show is: Slug Terra
Your favorite game is: Fortnite
My favorite activity is playing Skull King.
Your favorite girl is: Mom
You are really good at: STEM
Your best friend is: Walker Orris, James Jones the 3rd, and Gage McGuffee
You want to vacation to: Disney Cruise again
Your favorite ice cream is: cotton candy
Your wish is to be 17.
Your hero is: Dad
Your favorite thing to do with your friends
is: play
Your favorite holiday is: Christmas
Your favorite person in the whole world is: Mom
Your favorite song(s) is: Stay
Your favorite restaurant is: Olive Garden
Your favorite foods are: pizza
As sad as I was there was no church, the evening overall was well, with the exception of the boys arguing. We had a Christmas concert and during it Jake and the kids sang “Light of the World”, the girls did a number, and then Will played “It came upon a Midnight Clear”. The kids spent a little time our room for scripture and prayer and we wore matching pajamas.
Merry Christmas Eve from the Tennessee Farrells! This was not the Sunday Christmas Eve picture I envisioned but how happy I am my family loves me. I was sad church was not happening due to ice road conditions but have enjoyed listening to my girls (and their dad) sing and play.
This year we felt the Savior’s love abundantly through others. It has now been a year since we had water issues with our house and we are so close to those damages being 100% repaired. Friends and family strengthened us from Sunday dinners to encouraging words. Although it was crazy, over 1/2 of this year was in a hotel, we grew as a family in many ways.
I changed jobs this year and left teaching. There are definitely things I miss about it (mostly Jake and our rides to/from work together), we think it was a good move. I serve as the stake historian specialist and assist with ward activities.
Ginny (21) is a college senior this year, at East Tennessee State University, finishing her degree in dental hygiene. She wants to celebrate big because feels like Covid robbed her of her last spring senior festivities. She is looking forward to May and currently prepping her boards. Ginny is currently serving as Relief Society in her branch.
Aubree (19) is a sophomore ar Utah State. She is loving her life, maybe a little more than I like. She works as a CNA at a nursing home and recently was promoted to director at Chick-fil-A. She somehow manages school, work, church responsibilities, and a social life. Her vocals and piano talents continue to grow and are beautiful.
Jake/Will (15) is a sophomore in high school. He is enjoying seminary but does not enjoy school work. He plans to get his driver’s license this week and is looking forward to that. He lived video games abd YouTube but does not like that we limit his time on those. He has helped his dad a lot getting our house back together and is learning to give things his best. He also started piano lessons this year and is developing well at that.
Christopher (13) is in his last year of middle school. He too enjoys video games and YouTube. He served as the Deacon’s quorum president at church this year and was wonderful at strengthening relationships within hud quorum. He arranged game nights and attending each others soccer games outside of weekly mutual activites. He is kind to everyone. He is lived to play Rummikub and Skull King; he reigns as Skull King champ.
And Jake…Jake is our rock. He is committed to the Savior and keeps us all on the right track. He offers the best counsel to our family and loves big. Although he excels in teaching his students at school, he teaches best in our home. He decompresses by playing the piano or sitting to watch a show with me. He has worked diligently on our home and it looks better than ever. Jake is currently serving as bishop of our ward. He is wonderful and truly loved to serve his ward.
We know God lives and loves us.
This past Sunday in Sunday School, we read the scripture about how we are to forgive 7x70. I had a few thoughts and I am sure it was primarily prompted because I have been reading in Revelations. 7 in the Biblical times can be symbolic of complete, so it occurred to me that maybe we are asked to always forgive so we can be complete or whole. When we choose not to forgive others, we are only hurting ourselves, so it is imperative to forgive. I need to work more at becoming better and forgiving.
Despite the hard days parenting, there are indeed some good ones too. This weekend was busy with markets. I had 3 plus my Christmas work party. We had Arlington Christmas on Square Friday 5-8, Lightfoot Farms Saturday 9-2, and the Bartlett Christmas Parade Saturday 3-5. I am glad markets are done for the season.
Parenting solicits all kids of emotions, ups, and downs. While each of my children have empowering strengths, they also each have struggles and different stressors placed on me. There are times I feel inadequate to parent and feel as if I have failed in certain aspects as a mother/women. This morning my heart is heavy for each of my children for specific reasons.
Ginny. Ginny is currently dating a 18-19 year old boy that is preparing for a mission. She told me yesterday it was different with him and she felt like she loved him. While I have not met him yet, it raises a few flags. One, he has asked her to "wait" on him while he is on his mission. They have only been dating a little over a month or so. Secondly, she is a driven and has been focused on completing her degree. I want each of my girls to marry someone where they do not have to work but feel the education is important in the event they have to one day. I am sure when the time comes and they are preparing to begin a life with someone, I will have other concerns about the husband providing for the family spiritually and financially. Ginny is obedient and becoming a powerful young woman.
Aubree. Aubree is in a world of her own in Utah, a world that in some ways excludes us. She has found the new freedom and things she is more grown up than she is. She is actively preparing to go the temple, which is something that I want all my children to do but I do not understand why she feels the urgent rush. We are trying to encourage her to wait until the summer when she can hopefully spend more time with us and more family can plan to attend. While I have seen growth in her in Utah, I have also seen some things that are not my little girl. She uses words more loosely now and her modesty standard has declined some. However I do believe the modest thing is primarily working out or Halloween, it raises concerns to me as a mother because small deviations can lead to larger ones. I fear Aubree is not getting adequate rest. She is in school, working two jobs, and has quite the social life right now. Fortunately, both our girls, Ginny and Aubree, faithfully attend church and participate in their church callings. Ginny is a stronger desire to see us more often and I eagerly anticipate when that hits Aubree too. I pray that my babies, all four of them, will always be close, in touch with one another, and involved with Jake and I. Aubree loves to give to others, like she really likes to give gifts to others, and her heart has righteous desires. She wants to know the Savior.
Will, oh Will. He is battling with his self confidence which I believe is leading to other issues (primarily hygiene but a whole new level of it). Just this morning after dropping him off at school, I pleaded with God to please help me help him. Have I failed so much that my son has no idea how loved he is or who he is, as our son and a son of God. I prayed fervently for his future wife/companion to love him in a way to build him up where I have fallen short. Do I focus so much on his weaknesses that I neglect to point out his strengths? Last night on the way to mutual he was down talking himself, should I have pointed out more good? He expressed that some kids were mean to him at school and called him names for defending a friend as asking a fight to not be videoed. He has the best heart and is so empathetic. Does the compassion come of out him being picked on and knowing the feeling? Does he have friends? My heart breaks for him. We have told him that improving his hygiene will lead to less negative comments from others. I am so scared he hears negative voices towards him at home and at school. He should feel protected at home, a place of refuge. Jake gets upset at him and decides he cannot talk to him, which I think is 100% wrong and have told him we do not turn our back on our kids ever. I also told Jake last night that when he does that it makes me feel as if I am at it alone. Will is hard right now, but he is our hard and we are his parents. We can help help him with confidence, honesty, and hygiene but I need him to decide too to want to improve on the latter two. It crossed my mind last night and this morning that if Jake does not want to be the father right now to him then I am going to ask him to be his bishop. Then after my prayer this morning the thought crossed my mind to ask the executive secretary to put our boy in the 6:30 slot when Jake has a 6 and 7 appointment. Maybe this will help soften both hearts and improve relationships as I have prayed for. Will takes the lonely rad not traveled often and seeks to comfort others. He has a desire to do and be good.
Christopher. I am scared that his relationship is hindered by the issues we are having with his brother right now. Is he feeling noticed or alone? I worry more about my boys getting picked on than I did my girls. Are others kind to him? He is so small and although his speech has improved significantly, he is still so very soft spoken and not all words are enunciated nor pronounced correctly. I see Christopher developing some of the same habits that could be avoided and have no idea how to best shift them without he or his brother feeling bad. I do not want to nag at them and want them to see their good. Christopher is full of perseverance and courage. He is also really good about reaching out and inviting others in his Deacon's quorum or others to church. He strives to be inclusive.
Overall, I have been blessed with wonderful children that have strengths where it is important. They each have characteristics that exemplify the Savior and change the lives of others for the best. They are a light in my life and an example to me. They help me want to do and be better. They are a beacon of light in a dark world and we gravitate towards light.
While parenting is so hard, it has also taught me to love more fiercely. I am trying so hard to improve how I communicate things to my children and improve too. I so hope they love me despite my flaws and try to see the good in me. I am doing the very best I can although some days I feel I do more harm than good. They are my babies and I want to be their biggest cheerleader and advocate yet counsel them as well. Jake is way better than me and I need him.
