Bishop wife lessons learned

 I had a few random thoughts and reflections this morning that I wanted to share and remember. Jake has now been bishop as of this month for 3 years. Overall, thus far it has been a positive experience for our family and he enjoys the calling or the person the calling is helping him become. I have always thought he was as good as they come and a man with very little guile. He is a very introverted person but there is no evidence of this on Sundays (which is amazing to him) and his love for our ward members is big. Although we are still learning, I feel like I have learned a few things:

1. Being the wife of a bishop is much different than being the counselor's wife.

2. People tend to think you know more than you know, whether it be about events, callings, or other things. And the truth is, I probably know less.

3. The people you were closest to feel the need to share their opinion about things they dislike openly with you, your husband, and others.

4. Yes, there are times of definite isolation, but portions of that may be self-inflicted. Self-inflicted by finding yourself more reclusive in fear of doing or saying something to make it more for your husband. Or not wanting to hear about the things others are unhappy about that happens in the ward- it prevents me from potential negative thoughts since they could be directed or seen as a reflection of something Jake has done/approved. I want to avoid any social bear traps that could come from comments I make as bishops wife or do anything to cause a backslide in all the hard work he’s done  

5. BLESSINGS. Blessings come to your family in multiple ways- from time to children.  Will has been more difficult than ever before, but I have found myself turning to God more often for help with him and being more patient. I get frustrated at times but am able to keep my cool most incidents. Jake has also been more patient with him and strengthening his relationship with him.

6. Strength comes when you feel you have nothing more to give, although no one else knows about either, the exhaustion or the strength.

7. Jake enjoys being the bishop and does it well. We tried a tithing blitz weekend this year and it seemed to go well. He was able to get about 30 families completed in 2 days. He completed 41 last year in probably about 21 days. 

8. We are learning to become more diligent in our discipleship and serve others better. 

9. Being a bishop is a family calling as it effects us all (most often in a good way). I will always support and love the bishop, his wife, and their children.  

I recently learned that someone in the ward does not like Jake nor I at all.  I had noticed my last interaction with them (complimenting the wife’s dress and telling the husband it was nice to see them and how great their son had done at something) I was noticeably ignored in both situations, and I would venture to think that is why.  Jake was uncertain as to why the dislike. I guess at one point they were unhappy with him about something, but he thought that was resolved. The person who conveyed it to us made it sound like the dislike for me was something I had said in Relief Society, but I am at a loss as to what. The husband had told me about a situation that is on their heart months ago, but I have said nothing of it except to Jake, who was already aware. A big part of me wants to approach them, apologize for offending them, and as ask how but Jake feels it is best to not at this time (maybe in a couple months, I will invite them for dinner). Instances like this feed into my fear of making things more challenging for him during this time. Jake has to some hard decisions and I am sure that comes with a price at times with people being upset at him. However, I know he is trying to do the right thing and has the best interest of others at hand and wants to do right by God.