Parenting Fails

Concluding our fall break, we spent the Friday at the zoo with our little crew.  It was a terrific time. A week later, this past weekend, I experienced my hardest parenting weekend.  The boys and I drove to Paris on Saturday for Clark's 1st birthday but Will ended up getting in trouble.  He decided to get into a fight with Riley, claiming it was self-defense.  Often I fear that I am failing my Heavenly Father, my husband, and my children when it comes to parenting.  I fear that I am not helping my children realize their divinity. Saturday evening, Ginny and I got into a nice argument and it blew up again Sunday again.  In hindsight, I am not even sure that I know the gist of it all but I do know that damage was done and I need to work very hard to repair it.  To make it even more hurtful, tonight we brought Ginny down and grounded her for the first time ever.  This decision was made last night but we wanted to address it when it was more calm.  The hardest thing is knowing she is such a good girl and she is hurting. We explained this can be a defining moment in her life.  Afterwards, I came to my room and just cried. Jake went outside and called his mom. This parenting stuff is so incredibly hard, especially having to be the disciplinarian. My heart hurts so bad and my eyes have now been swollen the last two mornings and I am uncertain that tomorrow will be even better for me eyes. I can only pray for Heavenly Father to help me know what I need to do for my children, after all they are his children too and he knows them best.  I am hoping that they feel love from me and never feel like they are a burden or that I do not have time for them.  Jake and these four crazies, I cal, my kids, are my greatest treasures.