Hanging on through Perilous Times talk by Renee'

 Hanging on through Perilous Times

Bartlett 2^nd Ward 2.08.2026 

Defeated. Clinging to believe and hold my head high.  2025 proved to be a year that stretched my faith and sense of belonging. Every few months something happened that was heavy and often lingered for a period of time.  I was not sure where I belonged or fit in the scheme of things.  I questioned if me being me caused undue hardships on the ones I love most or others within our sphere.  Was I allowing wedges to form? Surely, I could find a way to justify the weakening of relationships but regardless of how I was feeling, I had to remember that not only am I, but others, are children of God, and our perceptions often become the reality we know. So, I needed to see the good and alter any misconstrued perceptions. I needed to look for ways to grow towards Christ and more like Christ during these evolutions of faith. Not wanting to infringe or add more to Jake, it took me a little time (which for me is maybe a day or so) before opening up to him and allowing his counsel and love become a balm to my soul.

 Much like 2025 seemed difficult for me it comes at varying times for others. Often, there can be pain and discomfort that comes with modern membership in the Church, however, I am an advocate that we must face these problems head on because beyond the hurt lies the gospel, with an unsurpassed power to heal a wounded world and soul. Internal suffering can come when one feels they do not belong or have different feelings or views on things than most other members.  It can be a source of overwhelming pain as the devil would make us feel inadequate or lonely. 

Maybe you are among the minority that has not questioned your role in the universe; however, it would benefit us all to better understand the sources of hurt for others. Understanding is needed to help build a bridge over the divides, whatever they may be, intergenerational to opinions. Enabling us to be covenant keepers-  to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. The hope that comes from Christ is hope tempered by Gethsemane and Calvary, and too often the answers found in gospel teaching and life most often come as contradictory: sacrifices bringing forth blessings, the penniless being the richer than the wealthy, the living among the dead, and an unwed mother preparing to give birth to God’s chosen son.

Lehi (2 Nephi 2:11) taught that good and evil constitute co-eternal principles and not a question of whether we will suffer.  Undoubtedly, we will suffer. But how will we choose to respond to that suffering? Will we choose to lean into the vulnerability created by suffering, so we can fully understand the necessity, power, and transformative effects of love?  Will we not fear the judgment of others and seek refuge with one another? Will we choose to welcome those who differ and love with open arms or will we silently judge? Will we turn to the Savior, even if we have only a mere hope that He can help? Will we allow our faith to diminish? Or to grow?  Will we seek discipleship?

“Faith is the wind that keeps our discipleship aloft when our confidence falters…Faith is a combination of grace, personal tenacity, and commitment that allows us to continue living as the gospel is true, even when we remain unsure. It does not always allow us to make the right decision, but it allows us to keep trying, even when we falter.”  Discipleship in the face of uncertainty taxes us and requires humility, determination, and faith. Doing just this is intellectually and morally defensible, however, it can become transformative and beautiful. Persevering through episodes of doubt matures our faith. There will be days when we believe despite it all, days when we do not, and days when the best I can give is to hope that belief will one day reawaken.

We must become like Mary, who continually sought Jesus, even after His death. Even when she had watched the object of her faith and devotion breathe His last breath, and even when she buried her Master’s lifeless body, and even in her mind must have declared it to be the end- some spark deep inside her refused to die, a stubborn ember of persistent belief. What followed was perhaps the sweetest reunion in all of scripture- a reunion involving both the return of her Teacher and the rising of her confidence and understanding.  … There really are blessings that can come only when we persist in making our way toward the tree of life, even and especially when the mists of darkness wrap their tendrils most tightly around us. (Johnson, 130) Show up. Mourn. Hold on. But Stay near Him. “Jesus never forgets a promise. Despite giving Him every reason to, Jesus will never give up on the house of Israel. He will never give up on you.” (Hank Smith, 2025)

How many times do we have to read that He is “mighty to save” before we start to believe it? Those of us who know the Lord can see His ministry continuing—just as it did in His mortal life. He still goes village to village, house to house—one by one. Jesus shows up for us. (Hank Smith, 2025)

If you are one that has lost hope or feel like you are traveling a lonely road, I hope that you encounter a reminder or ember that may still faintly glow in your growing darkness. Satan seeks to kill those glows and distract us from finding the Lord. “ He told Adam and Eve, “Be ashamed of your choices. Hide from God.” He told Cain to avoid work, to sidestep sacrifice, and to take—violently—from his own brother. Esau gave up what he wanted most for what his body wanted at the moment. Joseph’s brothers allowed jealousy to drive decisions that haunted them. David fell because he was not where he was supposed to be when he was supposed to be there. He treated Bathsheba and Uriah not as children of God he was supposed to protect, but as objects to be used. My friends, people are not objects. King Ahab got his friends and his enemies mixed up. That’s a recipe for disaster. The religious leaders in Jesus’s day were so entrenched in defending their religion against the pressures of Hellenization that they forgot the point of being religious in the first place. Laman and Lemuel seemed to have perfected the corrosive art of murmuring. Korihor was educated but so unwise—he bought into the idea that a belief in God was foolish, the effect of a frenzied mind. And for people like King Noah, Amalickiah, Kishkumen, and Gadianton, politics and political power became their god—and their demise.” (Hank Smith 2025)

 We cannot allow tasteless temptations and amusements with a bitter aftertaste, fill us with shame, and steal our future. We must remember who we are and why we are here. Regardless of mistakes made or sins committed, we can still have a beautiful, bright future. Why? Because as we saw in times of old and as the modern prophets have taught, the Lord never gives up on the House of Isreal or us.  He understands us. He understands why we do what we do. His mercies are suited according to the conditions of the children of men. Our choices, superb or mistakes, do not determine our value, we brought our value with us when we came to Earth. Ask the Lord to help us make decisions that match that value. (Hank Smith, 2025) And keep trying, regardless of how may times it takes. Stop praying on your knees and start praying on your feet. Get up. Work towards belief and better days. Bet on the Lord.

Make a wager. Bet your entire life that the gospel is true and begin to believe, expect, and hope. See the goodness of God. Believing carries risks but so does the choice not to believe. The sacrifices we make along the path of discipleship can seem overwhelming, but the sacrifices we make on the pathway to doubt are every bit as real, although in the moment may not seem as monumental.  Believing is not spiritually inferior to knowing, it is okay to merely believe.

In ancient days, sailors relied greatly on ballast- heavy materials, like rocks, placed in the bottom of the boat to stable it on the seas. May we allow God’s words, the scriptures, prophets, and apostles to provide ballast to our spiritual ships as we sail on the tumultuous sea of life. I am learning that when I feel most sharply the gap between who I am and who God needs me to be, I try to remember the best way to shrink the gap, is to do all I can to make our ward family and community more like Zion. It will be well for my soul to wear my life out in serving, building, and blessing.

It will not always be rosy nor bright, but we can press forward and must press on. When we feel hurt or those we love have been wounded be the teachings, words, or actions of another- we must do then what we do when we encounter suffering in any arena of human toil-  we seek grace and healing from Jesus.  Let us remember that the gospel does not shine because it is a fairy tale life but because we push past that and we find deep, substantive, and enduring succor. The real gospel is what remains when fairy tale perceptions dissipate. “The gospel matters so much because in an age of isolation, it binds us into communities; in an untethered time, it binds us by covenant to God and to each other; in an age of ambiguity, it offers meaning; in an age of desperation, it offers hope; in an age of echoing, empty, and careless cosmos, it offers an empathetic, invested, omniscient Heavenly Father and Mother who hearts beat in sympathy with ours.” (Johnson, 226). The rebirth of belief is something worth waiting for and working for.

When I look at our ward family, especially the primary children and youth, I am confident that the Church’s brightest days are still ahead. You are faithful. You love the Lord, and you love His Church. You are teaching the young ones the same. This Church is our home. We are brothers and sisters. And please remember—please remember—no matter what happens, you can always come home. (Hank Smith, 2024) May we strive to begin today to work towards the celestial kingdom together. We will only choose the celestial kingdom in the future if I choose to repent now in the present. Let us help, forgive, and love one another. “The Lord gets His work done through His people, and He gets His people done through His work.” As Elder Holland said, I hope “your love for Him and your discipleship in His cause will be the consuming passion of your mortality.”  Brothers and Sisters, I know that I, and you are going be redeemed because of the righteousness of our Redeemer. We must believe it and cling on to that belief.

References

Johnson, T. P. (2024). When church is hard. Deseret Book.

Hank Smith. (2025, August 6). Speeches. https://speeches.ensign.edu/devotional/hank-smith-11-2025

9 Snow days in West Tennessee

 School was back in session today after being out all of last week and 4 days this week due to snow & ice. We woke up the morning of Saturday 1/24 to snow and it continued to snow throughout the day and into Sunday. We enjoyed two weeks of home church and playing games together.  I was able to work from home the first week and able to be around. We were ready to leave the house more often after about a week though. Christopher got braces on Saturday 1/31 because other people cancelled on the day the clinic was making appointments from being closed for the week. 

Ginny enjoys reading and can read about anywhere

Will recently had to make a discussion post with him and something that is representative of who he is for a school class. This was his post: "This is a picture of me right in front of the Tennessee temple. This shows my value because it is the house of the lord that he has left for us on Earth to be able to draw and help others draw closer to him. It reminds me everyday that I am a beloved son of god. I know that if I'm worthy to be able to enter his temple, I am worthy to return to him in the celestial kingdom." 

 

Christopher becomes a priest

 January has proven to be a filled month thus far.  Sunday (1/18) before church, Christopher was ordained to the office of a priest. It was beautiful seeing Jake, my dad, and my son participate (Adam also stood in, I love him too but those 4 others are really a big part of my heart). My dad thought Jake's blessing to ordain him was beautiful and told him, he would not be surprised if Jake was a patriarch one day.  The way I see it, he already is in our home.  Christopher was also able to bless the sacrament with his brother.  My heart was happy seeing the two of them sit up there together.   

That evening (Sunday) we had the youth over for Sundaes on a Sunday with the bishop. There were 28 youth there, so not too bad. After everyone left, there was a priest ordination at our house Christopher was able to stand in on his first ordination as well of his friend, Jonah Donald. Will also stood in on it.  It was a great Sunday. 

 

Last night Aubree was chatting with me a minute about various things and how glad she was that the doctor made her partial weight bearing and able to drive and just life.  She shared that for a small moment she had questioned blessings but was realizing again they are real. She recalled an evening she was sad but dad told her he felt she would heal when he gave her that blessing and he knew it.  She also stated, it has been a "faith evolution, not crisis" for her and she reflected on things I shared about my evolution of faith this year, and if I turned to look for reasons to believe and try to become strengthened, she could too.  So maybe sharing our struggles with our kids as we overcome them and work through them is a good thing. 

On a different note, I feel like I may be a little sad when Jake is released from bishop. This year will be 5 years but we are hoping he stays in a bit longer.  Sunday evening, one of the last youth to be picked up parents came in a minute.  The father is military and they expressed they had lived in a lot, with emphasis on a lot, and have never been as happy or welcomed in any ward.  They said ours was a different feeling and it stemmed from Jake and I.  He is a phenomenal bishop and truly does love this sector of Heavenly Father's people. Attendance is averaging a touch over 200 each week, which is growth and the youth are close. A couple weeks ago, I received this text from another very strong willed and opinionated lady in our ward randomly after I thanked her for sending Jake and update on a member in the hospital. "We love him. I'm not just saying this but he is the best bishop we've ever had. EVER. And you are the best bishops wife. I love you both to pieces." Now, I may not agree about me but I for sure do about him. I appear good because I want him to serve and do let him.  He is contentiously touching lives...maybe he was still needed to bishop for this time. 

Christopher's talk & Will's Patriarchal blessing

 Yesterday was a beautiful Sunday for your family. Sacrament meeting was great with Christopher speaking first on Joshua 1:9, followed by a talk on the gift of testimony, referencing Elder Brown's general conference talk, and the last talk was on the power of our words. I had my first week in primary. Class was a little iffy for me but then we went to singing time and the kids sang "When I am Baptized" and my eyes began to water a little. It was beautiful; I felt not only blessed to be sitting there but God's love.  After church, Will received his patriarchal blessing. His dad commented after the blessing that is was a "beautiful blessing", that boy has so many good things in store for his life...he just needs to get it together and get some direction in his life. He is the last of our children to receive their blessing and it is not something we pressure them about because we want them to want it but we are glad he made the decision to get it. 

Christopher's talk - he wrote it by himself too.  

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” Good morning. I am Chris Farrell and I decided to talk about my favorite scripture. It is Joshua 1:9, which I just shared. I find this verse to be 3 great sections: what to do, what not to do, and why. 

      To start things off, the verse talks about being strong and of a good courage. To be strong is a number of things. It’s resisting temptation and doing all things to Christ. Temptation comes in all forms. Whether it’s cheating on a test or seeking fights, you overcome it and stay strong through Christ. Furthermore, being courageous can be standing up for what you believe you in. Like wise, doing things that don’t have to do and doing them anyway. For example, you don’t deny Christ. Matter of fact you testify of him. An experience I had with that was in school a year ago or technically two now. I had a friend names Luis. We’ve been talking and he brought up his plans for the weekend. I later told him my plans which included going to church. He asked me why I would go and I told him it’s see people and renew my covenants. I then was courageous and invited him to join me for the best Sunday. He said yes and l joined us for the next few Sundays. That is why it’s so important for us to strive to be strong and courageous because Christ strengthens you

       Moving on, the second section says don’t be afraid neither be discouraged. Fear is all around us in our daily lives. It there when we try new things and even our wild thoughts. All of that does sound frightening but we shouldn’t be afraid because that is part of being humans. Can you guess what else comes in the package? Yep, discouragement. This also happens daily. It can come in thoughts and trying to change but there’s no results. There’s no need to be hopeless though because Christ felt what we are through and can help us. For example, during Covid I was scared that someone I cared about would die. I decided that every Sunday I would pray for everyone’s safety. After the pandemic and all the fear, I looked back and I didn’t loose anyone. I know that God heard my prayers and protected everyone. That’s why it’s such a powerful reminder to not be discouraged or afraid because through Christ you can do anything. 

      Next, the last section explains that God is with you wherever you are. I personally find that to be the best part of this verse. You save the best for last, right? God is with you always, even if you’re at home, at school, or halfway across the world.  One of the most amazing ways He stays with us is through the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is a constant companion who can guide us, comfort us, and warn us when something isn’t right. He helps us feel peace when we’re anxious and gives us courage when we’re unsure. The choices we face may be small or big, clear or confusing, simple or complex. However, the Holy Ghost can help us with all of them. For the last experience, a couple of years ago got a ring for Christmas and I wore my t all the time. It snowed a couple of weeks later and I threw a snowball. That snowball ended up loosing my ring because the ring slipped off. I looked and looked and I couldn’t find it. I then prayed and afterwards a got a rake to find it. A couple of minutes later I found it in the flower bed. I know that the Holy Ghost prompted me and guided me to the ring. That’s why I feel so loved to know that the God is with us always because he helps us. 

        Finally, it also connects with other verses. For example 2nd Timothy 1:7 states “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear⁠; but of power⁠, and of love⁠, and of a sound mind.”  God doesn’t want us to fear. He wants us to haw power and love. Moreover, Philippians 4:13 exclaims “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” We can overcome any hardships that come our way through Christ. The hardships can be any size or shape and the lord helps us overpower them.

        To conclude, I would like to bear my testimony on Joshua 1:9 because I know the, strength, relief, and love it holds for all of us. I also know that God is with us and he will never leave our side and in the name of Jesus Christ, our beloved savior, amen.

 

And 2026 begins

 2026 began with Jake flying to Idaho for Chyna's wedding and the boys and I going to Jackson to hang out with my parents and sisters.  My sisters and I tried to recreate some moments for our brothers that we thought were funny. We sent them to them but I am not sure they felt they were as funny as we did.  The weekend rolled around and the kids and I spent Saturday running errands and hanging out.  

 

I found out Friday that I had been called to teach primary so I had a good little cry but decided that I needed to do it and will give it my best.  Here is the thing, I can choose to be a covenant maker or a covenant keeper and not just a covenant keeper of convenience.  I was teaching Sunday School this past Sunday and it dawned on me that maybe this is my opportunity to simplify the Old Testament and understand it more and through a child's eyes. I can do it.  I decided to start 2026 out with bling so I wore all sparkles to church on Sunday. I am convinced that it will be a much better year for me. 

Random last pictures from 2025

Sunday 12/28 was our last day at Grammy & Papa's before headed home on Monday.  Our family was the only one there after church and we enjoyed the time visiting with one another.  On our way back from New Mexico, we stayed with Tommie and Karen for the night.  The kids enjoyed being with their cousins and being goofy (like a plank contest).  

You have to look closely to see Aubree sleeping in the back 

I had fun playing with old pictures of my kids with AI. 

Bye 2025

2025 has been a year of changes and travels (Helen GA, Boston MA, Paris France, Alaska, Ft Lauderdale FL, and San Antonio TX) for the Farrell family. We have lengthened our stride. 

Renee' has experienced a year of growth through with "faith evolutions" scattered throughout the year. There have been many times I felt alone, yet on the same hand buoyed up by my Heavenly Father. I am hoping to become better than I was and to more trust in God's timing and path for my life. I have not accomplished anything spectacular but I have made it through the year still smiling. 

 Jake is still serving and bishop, which he so very much enjoys. He leads with love (words someone used to describe him in November) not only Heavenly Father’s Bartlett ward but in our home. He has developed a new liking for trucks after owning one for a year now. He especially likes the get up in it because it’s electric. 

Ginny, the traveling queen this year! Ginny worked full time up through May and decided she wanted to temp to allow her to travel more and be off when she wanted and she did just that. She ventured to Boston MA, Paris France, and little weekend getaways. 

Aubree has made her way back from Utah to Tennessee and is enrolled in the nursing program at UTHSC. Being back here may not be her favorite but we enjoy seeing her more and see her continue to blossom into a beautiful adult. Her days seem to spent either at school, studying, or at the gym. She is a dedicated to getting her RN. Aubree ended the year with knee surgery (torn meniscus) and is non-weight bearing for six weeks….she is not enjoying that. 

Will got his braces off and is one handsome boy. He loves Chick Fil A, maybe a little too much. He is working towards preparing for a mission and rounding out his senior year of high school. Will has learned to value the temple. One of my favorite moments from this year was seeing he and his dad (we have plenty of young men but it was a moment for them together) bless the sacrament together.

 Christopher lives his best life. He is learning to drive and that is an adventure for us all. He is extremely cautious and tries to avoid driving when we allow him. Christopher is a gatherer of people and enjoys getting his friend group together as often as possible. 

2025 brought laughter, growth, and memories for our family. We count ourselves fortunate this year and continually pray for our loves ones who may not have experienced different overall feelings. May we all continue to see the Lord's tender mercies in our lives and turn to Him. Let us allow His grace to transform us and make us whole. We are excited to see 2026 has in store for our tribe.