Hanging
on through Perilous Times
Bartlett
2nd Ward 2.08.2026
Defeated. Clinging to believe and hold my head high. 2025 proved to be a year that stretched my
faith and sense of belonging. Every few months something happened that was heavy
and often lingered for a period of time.
I was not sure where I belonged or fit in the scheme of things. I questioned if me being me caused undue hardships
on the ones I love most or others within our sphere. Was I allowing wedges to form? Surely, I could
find a way to justify the weakening of relationships but regardless of how I
was feeling, I had to remember that not only am I, but others, are children of
God, and our perceptions often become the reality we know. So, I needed to see
the good and alter any misconstrued perceptions. I needed to look for ways to
grow towards Christ and more like Christ during these evolutions of faith. Not
wanting to infringe or add more to Jake, it took me a little time (which for me
is maybe a day or so) before opening up to him and allowing his counsel and
love become a balm to my soul.
Much like 2025 seemed
difficult for me it comes at varying times for others. Often, there can be pain
and discomfort that comes with modern membership in the Church, however, I am
an advocate that we must face these problems head on because beyond the hurt
lies the gospel, with an unsurpassed power to heal a wounded world and soul. Internal
suffering can come when one feels they do not belong or have different feelings
or views on things than most other members.
It can be a source of overwhelming pain as the devil would make us feel
inadequate or lonely.
Maybe you are among the minority that has not questioned
your role in the universe; however, it would benefit us all to better
understand the sources of hurt for others. Understanding is needed to help
build a bridge over the divides, whatever they may be, intergenerational to
opinions. Enabling us to be covenant keepers- to mourn with those that mourn and comfort
those that stand in need of comfort. The hope that comes from Christ is hope
tempered by Gethsemane and Calvary, and too often the answers found in gospel
teaching and life most often come as contradictory: sacrifices bringing forth
blessings, the penniless being the richer than the wealthy, the living among
the dead, and an unwed mother preparing to give birth to God’s chosen son.
Lehi (2 Nephi 2:11) taught that good and evil constitute
co-eternal principles and not a question of whether we will suffer. Undoubtedly, we will suffer. But how will we choose
to respond to that suffering? Will we choose to lean into the vulnerability
created by suffering, so we can fully understand the necessity, power, and
transformative effects of love? Will we
not fear the judgment of others and seek refuge with one another? Will we
choose to welcome those who differ and love with open arms or will we silently
judge? Will we turn to the Savior, even if we have only a mere hope that He can
help? Will we allow our faith to diminish? Or to grow? Will we seek discipleship?
“Faith is the wind that keeps our discipleship aloft when
our confidence falters…Faith is a combination of grace, personal tenacity, and
commitment that allows us to continue living as the gospel is true, even when
we remain unsure. It does not always allow us to make the right decision, but
it allows us to keep trying, even when we falter.” Discipleship in the face of uncertainty taxes
us and requires humility, determination, and faith. Doing just this is
intellectually and morally defensible, however, it can become transformative
and beautiful. Persevering through episodes of doubt matures our faith. There
will be days when we believe despite it all, days when we do not, and days when
the best I can give is to hope that belief will one day reawaken.
We must become like Mary, who continually sought Jesus, even
after His death. Even when she had watched the object of her faith and devotion
breathe His last breath, and even when she buried her Master’s lifeless body,
and even in her mind must have declared it to be the end- some spark deep
inside her refused to die, a stubborn ember of persistent belief. What followed
was perhaps the sweetest reunion in all of scripture- a reunion involving both
the return of her Teacher and the rising of her confidence and understanding. … There really are blessings that can come
only when we persist in making our way toward the tree of life, even and
especially when the mists of darkness wrap their tendrils most tightly around
us. (Johnson, 130) Show up. Mourn. Hold on. But Stay near Him. “Jesus never
forgets a promise. Despite giving Him every reason to, Jesus will never give up
on the house of Israel. He will never give up on you.” (Hank Smith,
2025)
How many times do we have to read that He is “mighty to
save” before we start to believe it? Those of us who know the Lord can see His
ministry continuing—just as it did in His mortal life. He still goes village to
village, house to house—one by one. Jesus shows up for us. (Hank Smith, 2025)
If you are one that has lost hope or feel like you are
traveling a lonely road, I hope that you encounter a reminder or ember that may
still faintly glow in your growing darkness. Satan seeks to kill those glows
and distract us from finding the Lord. “ He told Adam and Eve, “Be ashamed
of your choices. Hide from God.” He told Cain to avoid work, to sidestep
sacrifice, and to take—violently—from his own brother. Esau gave up what he
wanted most for what his body wanted at the moment. Joseph’s brothers allowed
jealousy to drive decisions that haunted them. David fell because he was not
where he was supposed to be when he was supposed to be there. He treated
Bathsheba and Uriah not as children of God he was supposed to protect, but as
objects to be used. My friends, people are not objects. King Ahab got his
friends and his enemies mixed up. That’s a recipe for disaster. The religious
leaders in Jesus’s day were so entrenched in defending their religion against
the pressures of Hellenization that they forgot the point of being religious in
the first place. Laman and Lemuel seemed to have perfected the corrosive art of
murmuring. Korihor was educated but so unwise—he bought into the idea that a
belief in God was foolish, the effect of a frenzied mind. And for people like
King Noah, Amalickiah, Kishkumen, and Gadianton, politics and political power
became their god—and their demise.” (Hank Smith 2025)
We cannot allow
tasteless temptations and amusements with a bitter aftertaste, fill us with
shame, and steal our future. We must remember who we are and why we are here. Regardless
of mistakes made or sins committed, we can still have a beautiful, bright
future. Why? Because as we saw in times of old and as the modern prophets have
taught, the Lord never gives up on the House of Isreal or us. He understands us. He understands why we do
what we do. His mercies are suited according to the conditions of the children
of men. Our choices, superb or mistakes, do not determine our value, we brought
our value with us when we came to Earth. Ask the Lord to help us make decisions
that match that value. (Hank Smith, 2025) And keep trying, regardless of how
may times it takes. Stop praying on your knees and start praying on your feet. Get
up. Work towards belief and better days. Bet on the Lord.
Make a wager. Bet your entire life that the gospel is true
and begin to believe, expect, and hope. See the goodness of God. Believing
carries risks but so does the choice not to believe. The sacrifices we make
along the path of discipleship can seem overwhelming, but the sacrifices we
make on the pathway to doubt are every bit as real, although in the moment may
not seem as monumental. Believing is not
spiritually inferior to knowing, it is okay to merely believe.
In ancient days, sailors relied greatly on ballast- heavy materials,
like rocks, placed in the bottom of the boat to stable it on the seas. May we
allow God’s words, the scriptures, prophets, and apostles to provide ballast to
our spiritual ships as we sail on the tumultuous sea of life. I am learning
that when I feel most sharply the gap between who I am and who God needs me to
be, I try to remember the best way to shrink the gap, is to do all I can to
make our ward family and community more like Zion. It will be well for my soul
to wear my life out in serving, building, and blessing.
It will not always be rosy nor bright, but we can press
forward and must press on. When we feel hurt or those we love have been wounded
be the teachings, words, or actions of another- we must do then what we do when
we encounter suffering in any arena of human toil- we seek grace and healing from Jesus. Let us remember that the gospel does not shine
because it is a fairy tale life but because we push past that and we find deep,
substantive, and enduring succor. The real gospel is what remains when fairy
tale perceptions dissipate. “The gospel matters so much because in an age of
isolation, it binds us into communities; in an untethered time, it binds us
by covenant to God and to each other; in an age of ambiguity, it offers
meaning; in an age of desperation, it offers hope; in an age of echoing,
empty, and careless cosmos, it offers an empathetic, invested, omniscient
Heavenly Father and Mother who hearts beat in sympathy with ours.” (Johnson,
226). The rebirth of belief is something worth waiting for and working for.
When I look at our ward family, especially the primary
children and youth, I am confident that the Church’s brightest days are still
ahead. You are faithful. You love the Lord, and you love His Church. You are teaching
the young ones the same. This Church is our home. We are brothers and sisters.
And please remember—please remember—no matter what happens, you can always come
home. (Hank Smith, 2024) May we strive to begin today to work towards the celestial
kingdom together. We will only choose the celestial kingdom in the future if I
choose to repent now in the present. Let us help, forgive, and love one
another. “The Lord gets His work done through His people, and He gets His
people done through His work.” As Elder Holland said, I hope “your love for Him
and your discipleship in His cause will be the consuming passion of your
mortality.” Brothers and Sisters, I know
that I, and you are going be redeemed because of the righteousness of our
Redeemer. We must believe it and cling on to that belief.
References
Johnson, T. P. (2024). When church is hard. Deseret
Book.
Hank Smith. (2025, August 6). Speeches.
https://speeches.ensign.edu/devotional/hank-smith-11-2025
