Catch up

I am a terrible blogger or maybe it is that my life is just crazy.  Christmas is my favorite time of year, I love the lights, the decorations, and the entire Christmas spirit. However this Christmas, I found myself a little more easily discouraged and some of that was caused by my own feelings in inadequacy. Jake and the kids seem to lift my spirits when I am down and sometimes just looking at my sweethearts, my heart swells with gratitude and joy. Even in my moments of despair, I know that I am blessed beyond measure. Our Christmas was fun filled. I finished Christmas shopping well before Christmas but the week before Jake wanted to buy Ginny a guitar but I was hesitant because of the price, she has not asked for one, and I can barely get her to practice the piano but we purchased one anyways. Jake reminded me that her time in our home could be over half over before she begins her adult life and he wants to be able to play with her. So I caved in but thought it necessary to purchase Aubree something else as well, so we bought her a kindle fire. After a morning of opening presents here, we ventured to Jackson but did not stay long into the evening because snow was headed our way. I love that we are able to see family on the holidays too. I am always sad when our breaks end, I get very spoiled to be able to enjoy Jake and the kids home together. The weather was nice that we were able to do various things, we spent my birthday at the zoo and it was perfect. There was hardly anyone there and we enjoyed each other.
As for work, I regret that I have not prepared myself for management. Initially when I began at FedEx, I only planned to be there a few year but it has now been over four years. Recently I discovered that managers starting pay is nice and maybe I should have ventured out and prepared for it, since I am still there and plan to be until Christopher goes to school. Sleep seemed more important so that I can be there for my kids.

The new year is here and I have one simple goal and that it to be kinder and see the good in others. One of my favorite memories this year is reading the scriptures the other night and as we read, giggles filled the air. We were loving being together as a family, maybe we were not intently studying the scriptures but we were sure having a good time. Oh, here is another cute thing. Jacob William brought a root beer to his dad and Jake said "yuck, this is gross" (of course, trying to not have to to share) but when Jacob William took a drink his response was "I love this stuff". 

Happy 5th Birthday Jacob William

This past week, our sweet boy turned 5 but sadly he was sick on his birthday. We had a party planned but had to cancel. He was also sick Christmas Day but we are do glad that he's doing better. We are even more glad that he is in our family. I feel especially grateful this year that I am blessed to be his mother. Some of his favorite things right now are: school, the avengers, transformers, pizza, candy, and playing outside. Jacob William loves to be outside.

Holiday fun

Jake spent a weekend with his dad on November 30th- December 1st in San Antonio to attend the Spurs game. While I am certain that he had fun, the kids and I began our holiday fun too. Jacob William, sang Santa in at his pre-school for the city of Bartlett,
 
we celebrated Eliah Reed's 1st birthday,
 
 
and went to the ward Christmas party.
 
The this past week we enjoyed the pre-school program, Ginny's 5th note performance, the girls signed Silent Night at the ward Christmas program, the cousin's gift exchange, and Ginny's DARE graduation. The holidays are busy but fun.

My daughters have also taught me two important lessons here in the last few days. Aubree and I were delivering a couple of meals and I told her how proud I was of her and that I loved her. She just said "mom, it is better to give than receive." Then last night after a fun time at the cousin's dinner party (dinner, sugar cookie decorating, craft time, new pjs' from Nana Eaton, and gifts from one another), we got home and went upstairs to Ginny's room. She, too, is a great kid but last night she informed Jake and I that "you guys get it all wrong". We are hitting the pre-teen stage and I really do hope that I get it right and am able to teach my babies all they need to know. I also want them to know that I love them beyond measure. My babies are my everything! (with Jake of course)

With a heavy heart

The past three days my heart has felt weighed down and heavy. Friday morning, I was preparing to run a few errands when a CNN report popped up on my phone about a Connecticut town that just experienced the unthinkable. An elementary school was attacked by a gunman and 26 people are now deceased. Among the 26, are 20 children and other school faculty members who died trying to protect their kids. Immediately, I wanted to be with my babies, so I carried lunch to the school and later returned for Ginny's 5th note (choir) performance. She did very well and her solo was perfect. I wanted so badly to take my girls out early Friday and not send them today (Monday) but I know that is not the solution. One can not comprehend what may have possessed that man that day to kill his mother and then raid and elementary school or even begin to understand why but one thing that I know is that God lives and those sweet, innocent babies are being encircled in the arms of the Savior. I can not even begin to imagine nor do I want to. This past weekend, my heart has turned to the parents, teachers, and staff. Adults died trying to save their kids. Being married to a teacher, I know that Jake would have done all within his power too. Weekly, I volunteer at the girls school and I can only imagine that as a parent I would have done all that I could have to gotten all the children to safety, not just my own. Each time that I turn on the news, mt heart breaks and tears flow down face. It is easy for people to point fingers and say more security in schools, more gun control, etc. but the reality is that neither of those things are the solution, if a crazy wants, he will get in and if he wants a gun, he will get a gun. What needs to happen is we need to rally around those families, extend love and heartfelt prayers, listen to the heroic stories, and treat our teachers a little better. Teachers are with our babies eight hours a day, five days a week, and we know now from experience that a teacher will truly take a bullet to save our children.

Gratitude

There are times in my life where I get discouraged and beat myself up but some how when that happens, I get bouyed up. Recently, Jake has proven to be a man of God over and again to me. I already knew that he was a gem and a good guy but this month he has re-discovered himself and the Lord. With that said, he has not faltered in his faith, service, nor testimony but re-committed himself. He has set a goal to study the scriptures more frequently individually and as a family but the amazing part to me was the way he has shown his gratitude to our Heavenly Father. During this season, most people write or post on the internet something they are thankful for each day. Jake did just the opposite. He fasted two meals everyday out of gratitude for something different every day. What a lucky person I am to have him as out spiritual leader in our home.

The kids are doing great. Will is now in speech therapy twice a week to help with his speech. The girls are more precious than ever. Last night, Ginny and her dad went to dinner together and Ginny knew of her worth. Jake also left her a note that morning expressing his love for her and how happy he was she was in our family. Christopher is still working on complete mastery of the potty but we are making progress. Aubree is for sure our healthy girl and often makes the healthy choice, even when it is not the fun choice. Life is good for the Farrell family.

Fall Festivities

Hay ride

Found the perfect pumpkin

October is one of my favorite months. I love the leaves changing colors,  cooler mornings, and of course, Halloween. The kids have enjoyed many fall festivities. Jacob William had his first field trip, he was so excited. Parents were asked to go...I do not blame his teachers, who wants to take twelve four year old kids to a pumpkin patch.

My Beautiful Girls

My Happy Family

The kids attended two trunk or treats this weekend and had their Primary program was today. The girls had solos and all three of them performed so well. The Spirit was felt so strongly throughout the program, especially in the music. It was also a bonus to be surrounded by so much of my family. I love that they support my kids in the things they do. I realized yesterday that Ginny is a mini me.....she was in charge of the games at the primary activity/practice yesterday as part of her Faith in God. As I watched her when I picked her up, I saw a mini me--honestly, it scares me a little bit and I hope that she ends up much better then me in the end.  Saturday night, we had a little girl time and Charity talked us all into wearing costumes. We looked ridiculous but it was fun. Also, I had another eye opener by my four year old, Jacob William. We were driving and I told him how much I loved him and he proceeded to ask why. "Because Heavenly Father sent me you"..."Mom, Heavenly Father sent me to the wrong place." He then explained that he was suppose to live with Grammy or Nana. At first, I laughed about it and then the thought crossed my mind that I hope that the people I am around always feel like they belong, especially my loved ones. 

Ginny

Angel Aubree

Argh...Pirate Jacob William

Daddy helping them trade candy