Monday morning, we left Knoxville and headed for the Washington, D.C. area where we would spend the next couple days exploring. I really wanted to take the kids to the temple grounds, so that was our first stop before the hotel. It was as beautiful as I remember. I love the stained glass. I love the peace that comes from just being on temple grounds. We were dressed for traveling but still snapped some pictures, fortunately it was closed so we basically had the property to ourselves to admire.
This year over fall break, I had a work conference in Philadelphia; I decided to take the remainder of the week off so the family could come and we could explore. What made it even better was having Aubree fly home to join us. I miss that child and worry about some of the choices she is making. I am not referencing moral choices but more academic and housing. Often times, it is hard to watch as you know they are not making the wisest choices. Aubree flew in on a Friday evening and on Saturday, we went to Jackson for the afternoon. Sunday, we attended sacrament meeting only (and Ginny came and stayed the whole meeting with me). The opening song was “Gethsemane” from the updated hymnal recently released. Driving home Jake said he was so glad we sang it because he loved hearing the primary and youth sing it. I’m not sure which I enjoyed more, seeing Aubree play or the joyful sound of song. Without even realizing it, the children and youth led the adults- in my opinion, our ward isn’t the most musically inclined but our songs today were sung where you could hear, it was beautiful. The sacrament hymn was “I Stand all Amazed”, the two together say the tone for the meeting. I felt edified by most the testimonies shared. I was so happy to have my girls on one side of me, my boys on the other, and to be able to look up and see Jake. before coming home to get on the road to Knoxville for the night. Life gets no better than this….all my babies with me at church and a beautiful service. My momma heart was so happy having all my babies with me. After sacrament meeting, we headed home to get on the road for Knoxville for the night. I was sad to pull away without Ginny but am trying to do better at accepting this stage in our life where not everyone may always be able to go.
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| Papa, Aubree, and Nana |
I had a few random thoughts and reflections this morning that I wanted to share and remember. Jake has now been bishop as of this month for 3 years. Overall, thus far it has been a positive experience for our family and he enjoys the calling or the person the calling is helping him become. I have always thought he was as good as they come and a man with very little guile. He is a very introverted person but there is no evidence of this on Sundays (which is amazing to him) and his love for our ward members is big. Although we are still learning, I feel like I have learned a few things:
1. Being
the wife of a bishop is much different than being the counselor's wife. I once was told that the bishop's wife is the silent casualty...sacrifices just as much with no acknowledgement or prayers offered on her behalf. I do not feel like a casualty nor alone. He is my biggest support and Jake ensures I know he sees me.
2. People tend
to think you know more than you know, whether it be about events, callings, or
other things. And the truth is, I probably know less.
3. The people you were closest to feel the need to share their opinion about things they dislike openly with you, your husband, and others.
4. Yes, there
are times of definite isolation, but portions of that may be self-inflicted. Self-inflicted
by finding yourself more reclusive in fear of doing or saying something to make
it more for your husband. Or not wanting to hear about the things others are unhappy
about that happens in the ward- it prevents me from potential negative thoughts since they could be
directed or seen as a reflection of something Jake has done/approved. I want to avoid any social bear traps that could come from comments I make as bishops wife or do anything to cause a backslide in all the hard work he’s done. With that said, I do feel people pull away, sometimes it's subtle or barely noticeable but it does happen for whatever reason.
5. BLESSINGS. Blessings come to your family in multiple ways- from time to children. Will has been more difficult than ever before, but I have found myself turning to God more often for help with him and being more patient. I get frustrated at times but am able to keep my cool most incidents. Jake has also been more patient with him and strengthening his relationship with him.
6. Strength comes when you feel you have nothing more to give, although no one else knows about either, the exhaustion or the strength.
7. Jake enjoys being the bishop and does it well. We tried a tithing blitz weekend this year and it seemed to go well. He was able to get about 30 families completed in 2 days. He completed 41 last year in probably about 21 days.
8. We are learning to become more diligent in our discipleship and serve others better.
9. Being a bishop is a family calling as it effects us all (most often in a good way). I will always support and love the bishop, his wife, and their children.
I recently
learned that someone in the ward does not like Jake nor I at all. I had noticed my last interaction with them (complimenting
the wife’s dress and telling the husband it was nice to see them and how great
their son had done at something) I was noticeably ignored in both situations,
and I would venture to think that is why.
Jake was uncertain as to why the dislike. I guess at one point they were
unhappy with him about something, but he thought that was resolved. The person
who conveyed it to us made it sound like the dislike for me was something I had
said in Relief Society, but I am at a loss as to what. The husband had told me
about a situation that is on their heart months ago, but I have said nothing of
it except to Jake, who was already aware. A big part of me wants to approach them, apologize for offending them, and as ask how but Jake feels it is best to not at this time (maybe in a couple months, I will invite them for dinner). Instances like this feed into my fear
of making things more challenging for him during this time. Jake has to some hard decisions and I am sure that comes with a price at times with people being upset at him. However, I know he is trying to do the right thing and has the best interest of others at hand and wants to do right by God.
We have most all out Halloween up and it makes me happy. I very much enjoy decorating for the holidays. Jake had put the big skeletons up a couple weeks ago and in an effort to help me, got the rest out of the attic. I appreciated the gesture and it was easier to get to, however, it may be harder to put away.
We also took the opportunity last weekend to drive to Oklahoma to watch the Utes play. We like that some of their games are now closer. Travis and Jonah Donald accompanied us. I missed sitting upfront holding Jake's hand but was glad he was able to have his buddy accompany us.
This is a little fun, Ginny is being used as the “face of the ETSU
online dental program”. We had seen the ad but one of her professors
reached out to tell her.
Recently during family scripture, we talked about how to make our prayers more meaningful. One idea that Jake suggests is praying in the morning conveying what you would like to accomplish that day and then in your night prayers sharing the accountability for that day. I have been trying really hard to be more patient with Will and to show him more love. Last Thursday morning, I was conveying that to Heavenly Father and mentioned in my prayer this drink Will really likes but cannot seem to be found (Will had asked me to look a couple weeks prior at Walmart for it when I was running in). I had googled the manufacturer to see which stores sold Cotton-candy flavored Faygo. The primary store is Family Dollar, which I seldom got o and do not pass often. On Saturday, Christopher and I went to gather items for baskets to leave on porches of people with the plan to go to like a Walmart or Target but Christopher suggested Dollar Tree and Five Below, which I also rarely go to. While we were in Dollar Tree, Christopher saw Faygo and said "Look, they sell Faygo". We walked over to the shelf where he saw the drinks and there it was among the others, cotton candy flavored. I shared with Christopher about my prayer and felt heard by my Heavenly Father. In just a mention of something my boy liked and I would like to get him to show love, in a matter of a couple days, it was found by a series of events that were unforeseen. What a reminder to me that even the smallest things matter to God. It was a reminder and evidence to me that He lives, hears me, and cares for me...something that I needed to know.
This past July, a 1.9cm cyst was discovered on Jake's right thyroid. We were sent to endocrinologist, who ordered another ultrasound of the thyroid. The ultrasound showed it was solid and not liquid which increases the likelihood had that is cancerous (although cysts on the thyroid are a majority of the time benign), so a biopsy was ordered. I could tell when I got home from work the day of the ultrasound that Jake was a little concerned. He told me he was fairly confident that it was cancerous as he closely watched and then came home to research more and compare images. The biopsy was performed 9/4/2024 and then we just had to wait. I checked the patient portal often and on the afternoon of 9/5/2024, I saw the results....BENIGN!!! I do not think Jake nor I realized that we were more nervous than we though as we both felt joy and relief. We had decided either way, we would be fine. The text message below is what he sent to his family (we had told only his parents):
"Wanted to let y'all know that I had a biopsy done on a nodule in my thyroid. I wasn't really sharing with anyone except mom and dad because I didn't know if there was really anything to worry you about, though I imagined mom may have told a few of you. I will admit, I have been a little nervous about it. I got the report back today. It is benign.
He had a colonoscopy scheduled for 9/9. I took off work to carry him and told him that a part of me wondered if that would show something because he felt strongly the cyst was cancerous. He said the same thing had crossed his mind. We were once again fortunate to show no abnormalities and all was well. It has caused me to reflect a little on how much I need and love that man. I would be devastated in the event something happened to him. He keeps me grounded, is a source of joy, and a spiritual rock for our family.
There are people in this world who make others better by being around. Our Aubree
is one of them. She’s a ray of sunshine brightening the lives of
others. Happy Birthday Aubs! Your positivity is contagious and you are
pure joy. We love you and miss you like crazy.
