Beautiful reminder

 Yesterday at 11:55 pm, Jake posted the following on facebook...it is a beautiful reminder and a part of his testimony that I want to always remember.

"Today was one of those days that I felt unworthy of my Savior’s love. I didn’t help anyone, didn’t spend quality time with my family, and was just completely selfish. And at the end of the day I thought that I probably shouldn’t pray. Why would God listen?

 

Then, I felt a prompting and a thought. All of the other days this week I did my best. I thought of others and served where I could. Those were the days that Jesus was cheering me on. But on a day like today, this is the reason why He died for me. He knew I would have these days. He knew I would need Him. He loved me so much that He would sacrifice Himself to help me overcome days like these. The thought of not praying seemed so ungrateful. Satan would have me feel guilt to the point of forgetting my Savior.

 

So I removed myself from my bed and knelt to offer a simple prayer. “Please God, help me always remember my Savior, Jesus.” I thought of His love and thanked Him for helping me on days like these.

If you ever have a day like this, please remember that Jesus died to help you overcome the bad days. He hears your prayers. Do not yield to thoughts of guilt or shame. God loves you."

Bad 4 weeks

 It seems almost nightly, I come to bed feeling like a loser of a parent or just plain exhausted.  I feel like I am barely afloat this school year. While the whole "in person" teaching and "virtual" teaching is exhausting in itself, I come home to try to make sure my boys have done their work. Will is in trouble very night for his school work not being done and his desires to watch television and be on electronics instead.  His grades (well all three that are still in regular school (not college)) are lower and it makes me feel like a terrible parent.  I am struggling to try to balance work and home right now. I feel like I always have a list a mile long to do for work and then it does not help to get messages or stopped in the hall about my kid missing work.  It really is almost more than I can take these days and I am clueless as to what to do to make it better. I wonder if I was home with them if it would be better.  Ginny has been great about being here but it is not the same. Did we make the best choice for our kids?  The kids at school do not seem to be getting sick, so would my kids be? Then I wonder if Covid is really as bad as it has been made out to be. I am really doing my best but I feel that is not enough. 

Wrapping up summer

 How our two weekends before students returning looked.

Happy Sweet Sixteen

 Our Aubree is double dating age---YIKES.  What an example of righteousness she is to our family.

Facts about Aubree, by Aubree:

You currently want to be when you grow up: A veterinarian/ veterinary assistant (but I'm also allergic to dander so... subject to change) OR Any sort of medical degree ... With that said, it's a lot of college, so I may just teach or something like that

Your favorite color is: Forest Greens, blue, & sunset yellow/ orange

Your favorite show: Parks and Recreation

Your favorite game is: The Farming Game

Your favorite toy or activity is: Theater

Your favorite boy is: Jesus

You are really good at: Ummm, I don't want to sound prideful. However, I feel like I'm pretty good at acting and painting. I've also gotten a lot better at musical instruments (the piano, ukulele, my own dang voice, and guitar) not good enough to say I'm really good at it, but it's improvement. 

Your best friend is: GINNY!! Amelia Seamen, Noah Orris, Anna Wright

You want to vacation to: Greece, Italy, Ireland, Iceland, Greenland -- Somewhere with fantastic views that I could paint and write poems about

Your favorite ice cream is: Denali Moose Tracks (Private Selection/ Fancy Kroger Brand) or Talenti ice creams

Your wish is to be: Charitable, patient, serviceable, and kind

Your hero is: Jesus & Papaw & Dad

Your favorite thing to do with your friends is: Have talks in the car with one another; following going to Sonic

Your favorite holiday is: Christmas

Your favorite person in the whole world is: Jesus Christ

Your favorite song(s) is: Nothing More by Alternate Routes & Aubrey by Bread (Papa Eaton and I dance to it together) & Classics like Earth Angel (the Penguins), Fly Me to the Moon (Frank Sinatra), Teenager in Love (Dion and the Belmonts), etc.

Your favorite restaurant is: Gus's Fried Chicken

Your favorite foods are: Mom's Pork Burritos, Dad's Freddy's Burgers, and Ginny's takeout

If you had $1000 you would buy: First I would pay tithing (mom says every year that it is after I pay tithing, but I just felt the need to clarify). Then, I would probably save the money to pay for college.

Back to Work & some words no one wants to hear

       Jake and I started back to work Wednesday, July 29, 2020 and the days have passed slowly.  We are unsure if we will be teaching in person, virtual, or a mixture of both. We have decided that our three in school will enroll virtually for this semester. After going to the school and seeing some of the protocols (of course, everything changes daily), we felt our decision was confirmed. ETSU is considering virtual classes as well, so Ginny may get to stay with us a little longer...she is not so thrilled I am sure and I am a little sad for her but will be so happy to have her home. 

       Today had moments of happy and a worry.  My parents came up to visit (Ginny was going to drive there but they decided to come here to see Jake and I too after work) so that was a happy but on the way here, mom received a call from the doctor and has been diagnosed with  thyroid cancer.  She meets with the surgeon next week to find our more information and schedule surgery. While I know all will be as it should and was surprised how mom was handling it (but it could be surreal or not have sunk in), dad seems very worried.  When mom told us, memories flooded back to my Mamaw and her journey with thyroid cancer that allowed her to be reunited with passed loved ones. I thought of how I felt hearing it and wondered the worry my kids might have (which made me sad for them).  I reflected that Jake nor I have any living grandparents now and that our parents are the next generation to cross over.  Although I was only a teenager with Mamaw, I recall it being only a matter of weeks when she was diagnosed, had her surgery, and passed. When they went for surgery, the cancer had already spread to the lymph nodes. I have such fond memories of her and recall her last couple weeks with us and being with her from feeding her chicken and stars soup (that was small enough to swallow) to rubbing her feet to brushing her hair to walking in moments after she passed and seeing her lying in her recliner. It still seems so vivid. Not that I think my mom will pass soon nor that quickly, I am not ready for my children to start losing grandparents.

Baptismal talk on the Holy Ghost

Baptismal talk on Holy Ghost

Baptism is a covenant, a two-way promise. When you get baptized, you promise to be a witness of Christ and take his name upon you- meaning to keep his commandments and always remember him. Heavenly Father promises to give you the gift of the Holy Ghost.

You may have already felt the Holy Ghost in your life. Maybe when you hear a beautiful song and feel all good on the inside. That’s the Holy Ghost.  When you do something you know you shouldn’t or have a bad feeling in your heart, and that is the Holy Ghost too. That the Holy Ghost can give you a good feeling or a bad feeling.

The Holy Ghost can do many different things. He can tell you when something is right. He can tell you when something is wrong. He can warn you of a dangerous situation. He can make you feel okay when you’ve been feeling sad. He can help you make the right choices.

But how can he do these things? You can’t see him or touch him or talk to him, and even though we say he speaks with the still small voice, unless it is a very special situation, you can’t really hear him with your ears either. The Holy Ghost has many different ways of communicating with us, and as we learn and have experiences, we learn to recognize the ways the Holy Ghost speaks to you.

For example, if I wanted to tell you I love you but I couldn’t use my words, what do you think I might do? I might give you a hug. I might draw you a picture. I might do an act of service for you. I might send you a note.

So just like there are many way we can communicate with each other, there are many ways the Holy Ghost can communicate with us too.  The Holy Ghost will have reasons to speak to us but we must develop our spiritual receptors to recognize it....but remember that God does not and will not give up on us! 

James S Porter recalls the "story of young Samuel in the Old Testament that depicts the early stages of his acquiring spiritual receptors. You may recall that Hannah was unable to have children and made a vow that if Heavenly Father would bless her with a son, she would give him to the Lord all the days of his life. Hannah did have a son, and true to her promise she delivered him to Eli, the high priest, at the tabernacle in Shiloh. One night as this young prophet-to-be lay down to sleep, he heard a voice call his name. Thinking that it was Eli who had called him, Samuel ran to Eli’s room to ask what he wanted. Eli replied that he hadn’t called Samuel and told him to go back to bed. The author of the Book of Samuel explained, “Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, neither was the word of the Lord yet revealed unto him” (1 Samuel 3:7). 

A second time Samuel heard a voice call his name, a second time he ran to Eli, and a second time he was told to go back to bed. When Samuel came to Eli a third time, Eli finally caught on that it was the Lord who was calling and told Samuel to go back to his room and when he heard the voice again to say, “Speak, Lord; for thy servant heareth” (1 Samuel 3:9). How many times have we missed a prompting from the Spirit because our spiritual receptors were still developing? Like Samuel, we too require experience and sometimes mentoring to develop our abilities to receive the Holy Ghost...

While the Holy Ghost can sometimes communicate in strong, unmistakable language, more often He communicates through quiet promptings. It was Elijah the prophet who found this out while on a mountaintop:

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. [1 Kings 19:11–12]"

Some of the things the Holy Ghost does.:

 - comforts us when we are sad or scared, during these uncertain times in the world with the pandemic and racial tension, I have felt his comfort...typically through others but I have felt peace. (John 14:26) 

- brings light to us when we are in a dark place. 

- warns of danger. This might be a feeling of discomfort or any negative feeling. All I know is when I get a feeling like that I stop. If you get one of these feelings, you should stop what you’re doing and choose a new path.

- guides us. The more you do what the Holy Ghost tells you, the better we get at hearing the promptings. 

- sanctifies us so we can be worthy to return to the presence of the Lord and to know of Christ's atonement.  Sanctification is the process of Christ’s Atonement cleansing us, healing us, and helping us become more Christlike—but it is only through the Holy Ghost that we can access the Atonement. “The gift of the Holy Ghost … is the messenger of grace by which the blood of Christ is applied to take away our sins and sanctify us” (Christofferson, “The Power of Covenants,” Ensign, May 2009). The members of the Godhead have separate but complimentary roles. Christ atoned for us and the Holy Ghost brings that atoning power to us. Without the Holy Ghost in our lives, we lose access to the Atonement. How can we know whether the Atonement is working in our lives? Luckily, the answer is simple “If you have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost during this day … you may take it as evidence that the Atonement is working in your life.” (Henry B Eyring)

- helps us to have and build our testimony of the Savior.

-  gives us gifts and talents...  Parley P. Pratt said that the Spirit “quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands and purifies all the natural passions and affections. . . . It develops beauty of person, form, and features. It tends to give health, vigor, animation and social feeling. It invigorates all the faculties of the physical and intellectual man” (Parley P. Pratt, Key to the Science of Theology, pp. 101–103). In short, the Spirit can bless us with gifts and talents in every aspect of our lives.

 - lastly, helps us see with new eyes.  

There is one final thing about this special new gift you have. You can take it everywhere with you. Sometimes in your life you will feel alone, but you will not be alone. The Holy Ghost will be with you, and if you are righteous and keep the commandments, if you keep your part of the covenant you’re making today, you will be worthy to have his guidance, and his warnings, and his comfort.

So as we think of the Holy Ghost or the Spirit, think of it as The gift that connects me and you to Heaven.  

Home Sweet Home

Home is where I long to be and want to be.  I very much enjoy visiting others but always like to be home.  We have been quite bus since we got back home. We have visited Jackson a couple of times and went to Paris for three days to help Sandra and Brent re-do their shower. Jake does a very good job and is meticulous in his work. The 4th of July was very different this year with no large gatherings, we let the kids swim at our neighbors house and watched fireworks that evening with them in the cove. Our neighbor had purchased some and there were plenty of others in the area shooting them off.  One went into our garage, it was nuts. The box had tipped over after a couple shot upwards but the remaining four shot out in all directions low. Fortunately no one was hurt.
        Covid cases are peaking and are higher now than in the Spring but yet it seems as people are more lax in their activities and outings. My mind is weighed down with all that is occurring in our nation, I feel I see our nation crumbling before my eyes.  Last night for family scripture Jake shared about repentance. He read a portion in Mosiah and then what the prophet recently stated when he called our nation/people to repentance.  Jake taught that repentance is more than just asking forgiveness of our sins but turning to God. Our nation needs to turn back to God. From here on out, I want to remember that as my definition for repentance....turning back to God.
        I told Jake this morning that I feel a little overwhelmed today, like too much on my mind to handle with: Ginny may have been exposed to Covid over the weekend, my mom had a biopsy today, schools with no idea what they plan to do this fall, and when the decision is made- how will that affect my family, what is the best course of action, etc.  However the crazy thing is that through everything, I somehow feel a little closer to my Heavenly Father and the Book of Mormon feels more real to me (like the people in there). I am enjoying studying this year.  I love home church, it may be my most favorite thing about the current situation in the world.  I am learning so much from Jake and my girls.  My girls have wonderful perspective and gospel knowledge.  They are firm in their testimonies and share so much.  Christopher's prayers are beautiful and so heart felt.  What a privilege to see Will grow in his priesthood power each week as he checks the sacrament prayer and passes it.