Adjusting to 4

Adjusting to having four little ones is a bit more demanding than I realized or maybe it is partly because it is summer and they are all home, including their daddy. The kids all seem to be doing very well with the baby and are like little leeches. Ginny is the baby hog and loves to hold him every time he makes a sound. Aubree loves to hold him too but more so likes to try to walk with him because she has seen her sister do it. Aubree sings to him almost every time she hold him, Christopher is serenaded with "I am a Child of God" and "Follow the Prophet". Will loves to try to help feed him and we have caught him twice with the baby in tow as well. It is cute how they each love him in their own little way. It has been an adventure too and someone is always hurt too. Ginny fell the other day and hit her shoulder pretty well, she swore it as broke but it is just bruised and swollen. The next day, Aubree hit her head and has a little bump but from the way she carried on, you would have thought it was much worse. Two ice packs, a towel, and a fruit roll up later, she was good. And Will, he is just clumsy and runs into everything or trips. He looks so big next to his brother too. As for me, I am tired. I forgot how tiresome a newborn can be. Jake has been getting up with at night some too, but I find myself still waking up too and just listening. I do not think the hardest thing for me has been the physical adjustment but my emotions have been a little off the scale, which I think exhausts me. I worry a lot but am hoping it all passes soon. It seems, although most likely unintentional, those we love the most can hurt us the most. In the past, I certainly have said some unkind things to those I care the most about and wish that I could erase them. Luckily, they forgave and I hope they realize that the comments were most likely said out of anger or hurt on my part but that it no way justifies them. From my mistakes, I have tried to understand that often when people do or say hurtful thing that is because they are hurting or there is an underlying issue. I know that I have been greatly blessed and it makes me sad for the times that I have hurt or offended others. Sandra had a comment up the other day that I enjoyed and I think it can relate to each of us in different perspectives in our lives. It is a quote from CS. Lewis, " We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."