Here's to a new decade!

As I have reflected over our life the past decade and compared it to where our lives may be in another decade (Christopher on a mission, and the possibility of our oldest three with families of their own), I am humbled and full of gratitude.  On the drive to Texas, I had time to think about resolutions or just about life in general as I drove. Although I notice my many short-comings, I notice that I have grown as well and improved in some areas of my life.  I went from not having a college degree to obtaining a bachelors and a masters and recently have a newfound love for the scriptures (which I am hoping will strengthen my marriage).  Jake and I were talking the other night (12/31/2019 (so technically early morning  hours of 1/1/20)) in bed about an incident that happened that day and general occurrences and he mentioned that some days he fears my "negative crazy" drives a wedge between us because he gets upset.  I explained that sometimes there are things that I feel I cannot talk to him about in fear that it may upset him and he said likewise.  We resolved that we must be more open with one another.  One thing I reflected on as I was driving that I needed to work to overcome my pity parties that I have in my head and I am hoping the scriptures help.  There are times that I think things such as: "I want to have someone crazy over me", "I will never have that life", "I must be a terrible person because my husband, whom I encouraged many years ago to think about going into administration is now considering it...he doesn't even like being around me (referring to work)", or "just wanting be loved and accepted by my in-laws and not feeling that I am toxic and the root of ill feelings in families". But you see, I am fully aware that is the devil that encourages those thoughts. There are some things that I cannot change, like how others feel about me or if our family is included, but there are others that I can change as I come to know and rely on my Savior more and that is my plan. 

Boys sleeping on the way to Texas 12/30/2019