Happy Easter

Yesterday, we went to mom and dad's for an egg hunt and a taco bar.  The kids very much enjoyed egg hunting. It seems that Easter has meant a little more to me this year as I reflect on the resurrection and that because if Him, loved ones that have gone before live and I will live again.  I will one day be reunited with those I miss every day.  On the drive down we streamed conference and listened to it.  Additionally this Easter day, we watched conference as well.  It seems there have been so many changed announced this conference including: 2 new apostles called (Elder Ulisses Soares and Elder Gerrit W Gong), no longer will priesthood quorums (elders and high priest) meet separately, and home/visiting teaching to be "retired" and now ministering. Young women ages 14 and up can now join with the adult sisters in the ward to have ministering responsibilities. Elder Uchtdorf spoke on beholding the man and it spoke to me . When encompassed by sorrow or griefs behold the man. When you feel lost or forgotten, behold the man. The most important day in our individual life will be the day we learn to individually "behold the Man" I loved Sister Bingham and Elder Hollands talk as well explaining more about ministering and looking out for one another. Oh, and the previous mission president Elder Taniela B. Wakolo's talk made me smile.  I remember listening at stake conferences when he and his wife spoke, she always stood by his side and vice versa. I was a little disappointed that she was not by his side during his conference address. Overall, I am grateful that I am able to listen to conference wherever I am.  I am thankful to know that be because of the Man that I can see my loved ones again.

Sweet 16!

Yesterday, Ginny celebrated her sweet sixteen. It is nearly impossible to believe that she is sixteen and old enough to date.  Thursday evening, we went to the Orpehum to try to get ticket for Ginny to see Wicked.  We did not get the lottery discounted tickets but were able to still get tickets.  She, Jake, Aubree, and Estella (Ginny's friend) went. They seemed to have a good time.  Last night, we had her a little party and she also officially was asked on her first date to Mormon Prom. I am not sure that Jake nor I are ready for this stage in our life but we sure do love her. She's a good egg.
According to you:
You currently want to be when you grow up a dental hygienist
Your favorite color is gray or pink
 Your favorite show is The Office always
Your favorite games are the ones I win
Your favorite toy or activity is softball
Your favorite girl is myself
You are really good at wasting time or cursive
Your best friend is Stella
You want to vacation to Europe
Your favorite ice cream is any kind
Your wish is to be a better person
Your hero is Jesus
Your favorite thing to do with your friends is play games or just hang out
Your favorite holiday is Halloween
Your favorite person in the whole world is me of course 
Your favorite song is throwback jams
Your favorite restaurant is anywhere not Mexican or pizza
Your favorite foods are: candy, haystacks, ramen, pineapple, or buffalo dip
 If you had $1000 you would buy an automatic car

Happiest of Birthdays to my main squeeze!

This good looking man celebrated his birthday on Friday. He stayed home from school, kept the boys home, saw a movie, and then started Will on his colon cleanse medication that he has to do for three days.  His colon is over 1/3 full of poop and there should be no poop at all in his colon. This man is my squeeze, my everything. He is the frosting on my cake, the chips with my salsa.  He makes me better in every way and my days are so much better with him in them. To my Jake- I love you more than words can describe.

What do I want from the Savior?

For some reason last night, I allowed myself to get very discouraged. I was not counting my blessings and comparing myself to others.  I had saw where someone that I know was surprised with a new car and I my mind decided to think "why am I not showered with gifts from Jake", "why is that I work so hard but am not fortunate to have exquisite things",  "why am I not beloved", and other crazy things.  Yet, as I laid in bed last night, I thought of all the wonderful things I do have and all the simple, small tokens of love and gifts that I am showered with from Jake.  He has a way of making me feel okay with who I am.  I love finding notes from him and gestures such as washing my car, vacuuming my car, holding my hand, a brush across my back, or simply re-filling my water bottle. I am truly blessed but what I find more ironic is that is seemed that the Relief Society lesson today was exactly what I needed.  Rebekah, my sister, taught it and the lesson was based on a talk from general conference last October entitled "Value beyond Measure" by Joy D Jones. I thought I would share some of the parts of the talk that stood out to me and lifted my spirits.  Often, I think there are times where we forget our divine worth or feel down on ourselves and need reminders. I have no doubt that today's lesson was exactly what I needed.
"...worth means to value ourselves the way Heavenly Father values us, not as the world values us....worthiness is achieved through obedience."
"No matter what, we always have worth in the eyes of our Heavenly Father.Despite this marvelous truth, how many of us struggle, from time to time, with negative thoughts or feelings about ourselves? I do. It’s an easy trap. Satan is the father of all lies, especially when it comes to misrepresentations about our own divine nature and purpose. Thinking small about ourselves does not serve us well. Instead it holds us back. As we’ve often been taught, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”We can stop comparing our worst to someone else’s best. “Comparison is the thief of joy."
"If we choose to focus on our negative thoughts and doubt our worth instead of clinging to the Savior, it becomes more difficult to feel the impressions of the Holy Ghost."
Oh and one more thing that stood out from sacrament today were two questions that were asked to contemplate: 1. What do I want from the Savior? and 2. What will I allow the Savior to do for me?

Spring Break 2018

This year for Spring Break we did not travel. Ginny had softball games and I was showing homes to some people coming in from out of town (they ended up buying in MS but that’s okay). Jake did take the boys on an overnight camping trip in AR. The girls and I stayed here for a game and I worked the softball game. He and Will have been training to climb peaks so they started in Arkansas because it was closest. After their hike and camping, they went to crater of diamonds to search for diamond. Chris wanted to find one so he’d be rich and could get his own in ground pool. The girls and I hung out here but I did allow them each to have a friend over. Overall it wasn’t as productive as I would have liked but the boys had a “man trip” and created memories with their dad.

Community Service Hero Award

Today, I received the following in a letter but did not realize today was February 20th until after the employment fair about 7:00pm. (One of us was asked to attend that to represent the school so Jake went so I could eat dinner with my mom)
“Dear V Renee Farrell,
       Let me be the first to congratulate you on being a recipient of a Community Service Hero Award for 2018. You are receiving by this award for your tireless device to your community and your efforts to make tomorrow better for those living in the Mid-South
       We are holding a Gala in your honor called the Community Service Heroes Gala to be held Tuesday evening, February 20, 2018 at the Bartlett Performing Arts and Conference Center (3663 Appling Rd, Bartlett TN 38133).  The reception will begin at 6:30 p.m. with the ceremony following at 7:00 pm. Please attend to receive your award....”

And I missed it. School was out Friday 2/16 for a PD day and on Monday 2/19 for Presidents Day, so today was the day I received this and didn’t realize until tonight when I went to put it on the calendar that today was the 20th. I am sad that I missed it and would have like to attended with Jake.

For no particular reason I feel like today has been hard and I can't get caught up on things. I feel like I have been rushed all day. Jake went to the neurologist after school again for his headaches and was told there's pretty much no more medicine he can try for them and that includes the Botox we've already had done. Jake is convinced the only way to cure his headaches is two hours of exercise a  day. No doubt excercise helps but he thinks I'm unsupportive because I think two hours is excessive each night. Why not get up early and do it, so we gave a little family time in the evening. As it is now, we only have two to three hours each night before bed for the kids. Then I feel guilty for even speaking out but I'm exhausted daily too and maybe, just maybe if he got up early some too he'd go to bed earlier and we'd both get more sleep (I take Ginny to seminary so am up at 4:45in the morning.  Yet, then again I hate that he suffers with headaches and say I'd do anything to help them but will I really if he says I'm not supportive? Is it really asking too much for him to not do seven days or to do some mornings instead of nights? I barely feel afloat some nights especially with ball season and what not. What would it feel like to be  able to come home and know everything would get done and I would not have to be the one to it (clothes washed and folded, dinner prepared, homework done, dishes done, etc)? I guess I, just ranting and trying to find way to not feel selfish for not wanting to have him gone each night and not feel like I'm a single mom.  I fear it will not bring us closer. I see myself shutting off with quiet frustration that he gets all this "me time" and I'm exhasted from running around with my head cut off trying to take care of four kids, a house,  and two jobs. I need to see the good and hopefully his headaches will be cured.