Sweet 16!

Yesterday, Ginny celebrated her sweet sixteen. It is nearly impossible to believe that she is sixteen and old enough to date.  Thursday evening, we went to the Orpehum to try to get ticket for Ginny to see Wicked.  We did not get the lottery discounted tickets but were able to still get tickets.  She, Jake, Aubree, and Estella (Ginny's friend) went. They seemed to have a good time.  Last night, we had her a little party and she also officially was asked on her first date to Mormon Prom. I am not sure that Jake nor I are ready for this stage in our life but we sure do love her. She's a good egg.
According to you:
You currently want to be when you grow up a dental hygienist
Your favorite color is gray or pink
 Your favorite show is The Office always
Your favorite games are the ones I win
Your favorite toy or activity is softball
Your favorite girl is myself
You are really good at wasting time or cursive
Your best friend is Stella
You want to vacation to Europe
Your favorite ice cream is any kind
Your wish is to be a better person
Your hero is Jesus
Your favorite thing to do with your friends is play games or just hang out
Your favorite holiday is Halloween
Your favorite person in the whole world is me of course 
Your favorite song is throwback jams
Your favorite restaurant is anywhere not Mexican or pizza
Your favorite foods are: candy, haystacks, ramen, pineapple, or buffalo dip
 If you had $1000 you would buy an automatic car

Happiest of Birthdays to my main squeeze!

This good looking man celebrated his birthday on Friday. He stayed home from school, kept the boys home, saw a movie, and then started Will on his colon cleanse medication that he has to do for three days.  His colon is over 1/3 full of poop and there should be no poop at all in his colon. This man is my squeeze, my everything. He is the frosting on my cake, the chips with my salsa.  He makes me better in every way and my days are so much better with him in them. To my Jake- I love you more than words can describe.

What do I want from the Savior?

For some reason last night, I allowed myself to get very discouraged. I was not counting my blessings and comparing myself to others.  I had saw where someone that I know was surprised with a new car and I my mind decided to think "why am I not showered with gifts from Jake", "why is that I work so hard but am not fortunate to have exquisite things",  "why am I not beloved", and other crazy things.  Yet, as I laid in bed last night, I thought of all the wonderful things I do have and all the simple, small tokens of love and gifts that I am showered with from Jake.  He has a way of making me feel okay with who I am.  I love finding notes from him and gestures such as washing my car, vacuuming my car, holding my hand, a brush across my back, or simply re-filling my water bottle. I am truly blessed but what I find more ironic is that is seemed that the Relief Society lesson today was exactly what I needed.  Rebekah, my sister, taught it and the lesson was based on a talk from general conference last October entitled "Value beyond Measure" by Joy D Jones. I thought I would share some of the parts of the talk that stood out to me and lifted my spirits.  Often, I think there are times where we forget our divine worth or feel down on ourselves and need reminders. I have no doubt that today's lesson was exactly what I needed.
"...worth means to value ourselves the way Heavenly Father values us, not as the world values us....worthiness is achieved through obedience."
"No matter what, we always have worth in the eyes of our Heavenly Father.Despite this marvelous truth, how many of us struggle, from time to time, with negative thoughts or feelings about ourselves? I do. It’s an easy trap. Satan is the father of all lies, especially when it comes to misrepresentations about our own divine nature and purpose. Thinking small about ourselves does not serve us well. Instead it holds us back. As we’ve often been taught, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”We can stop comparing our worst to someone else’s best. “Comparison is the thief of joy."
"If we choose to focus on our negative thoughts and doubt our worth instead of clinging to the Savior, it becomes more difficult to feel the impressions of the Holy Ghost."
Oh and one more thing that stood out from sacrament today were two questions that were asked to contemplate: 1. What do I want from the Savior? and 2. What will I allow the Savior to do for me?

Spring Break 2018

This year for Spring Break we did not travel. Ginny had softball games and I was showing homes to some people coming in from out of town (they ended up buying in MS but that’s okay). Jake did take the boys on an overnight camping trip in AR. The girls and I stayed here for a game and I worked the softball game. He and Will have been training to climb peaks so they started in Arkansas because it was closest. After their hike and camping, they went to crater of diamonds to search for diamond. Chris wanted to find one so he’d be rich and could get his own in ground pool. The girls and I hung out here but I did allow them each to have a friend over. Overall it wasn’t as productive as I would have liked but the boys had a “man trip” and created memories with their dad.

Community Service Hero Award

Today, I received the following in a letter but did not realize today was February 20th until after the employment fair about 7:00pm. (One of us was asked to attend that to represent the school so Jake went so I could eat dinner with my mom)
“Dear V Renee Farrell,
       Let me be the first to congratulate you on being a recipient of a Community Service Hero Award for 2018. You are receiving by this award for your tireless device to your community and your efforts to make tomorrow better for those living in the Mid-South
       We are holding a Gala in your honor called the Community Service Heroes Gala to be held Tuesday evening, February 20, 2018 at the Bartlett Performing Arts and Conference Center (3663 Appling Rd, Bartlett TN 38133).  The reception will begin at 6:30 p.m. with the ceremony following at 7:00 pm. Please attend to receive your award....”

And I missed it. School was out Friday 2/16 for a PD day and on Monday 2/19 for Presidents Day, so today was the day I received this and didn’t realize until tonight when I went to put it on the calendar that today was the 20th. I am sad that I missed it and would have like to attended with Jake.

For no particular reason I feel like today has been hard and I can't get caught up on things. I feel like I have been rushed all day. Jake went to the neurologist after school again for his headaches and was told there's pretty much no more medicine he can try for them and that includes the Botox we've already had done. Jake is convinced the only way to cure his headaches is two hours of exercise a  day. No doubt excercise helps but he thinks I'm unsupportive because I think two hours is excessive each night. Why not get up early and do it, so we gave a little family time in the evening. As it is now, we only have two to three hours each night before bed for the kids. Then I feel guilty for even speaking out but I'm exhausted daily too and maybe, just maybe if he got up early some too he'd go to bed earlier and we'd both get more sleep (I take Ginny to seminary so am up at 4:45in the morning.  Yet, then again I hate that he suffers with headaches and say I'd do anything to help them but will I really if he says I'm not supportive? Is it really asking too much for him to not do seven days or to do some mornings instead of nights? I barely feel afloat some nights especially with ball season and what not. What would it feel like to be  able to come home and know everything would get done and I would not have to be the one to it (clothes washed and folded, dinner prepared, homework done, dishes done, etc)? I guess I, just ranting and trying to find way to not feel selfish for not wanting to have him gone each night and not feel like I'm a single mom.  I fear it will not bring us closer. I see myself shutting off with quiet frustration that he gets all this "me time" and I'm exhasted from running around with my head cut off trying to take care of four kids, a house,  and two jobs. I need to see the good and hopefully his headaches will be cured.

Special stake conference

Today there was a special five stake conference broadcast from Little Rock with Elder Jeffrey R Holland presiding. Elder Michael Beheshti of the 6th quorum, of the 70, expressed when he heard the news of Elder Holland and Elder Uchtedorf coming he couldn't sleep. He soon realized it was because of their capabilities to help us feel of the saviors life or instruct us as the Savior would. He said no matter what they ask or instruct today, he's going go to do it. I can testify from my experience yesterday that I did feel of the love of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Those two apostles reflected the love of Christ.
Here are a few thoughts that I took from it today:
ElderJ Klebingat: the Lord orchestrates things in our life that are only for us because he knows us. The Lord puts wings on testimonies and they travel. Two pains in life are pain of discipline and the pain of regret. If you do what you are suppose to there will be blessings and if you do not, those blessings will be absent. Heavenly Father loves us on the good days and bad days. He loves us with a perfect love. We need to bring our best that day. Don't compare and rank, accept and love. Our shortcomings/trials would be unfair if we did not have the Son. Get back up, repent, and move on. Look forward to that pleasing bar of God, because if we have repented, he has forgotten them (our shortcomings) and there will not be much to talk about.
Sister Klebingat bore her testimony of the truthfulness of the church. She speaks along with Helaman in Helaman 5:5, that we must remember. Remember, remember that Christ is the only one that can save us and we must fortify ourselves. If we build, we can not fall...nothing can bring us down. The gospel is a true diamond and everything else is just a glass imitation.
Elder D. Uchtdorf:
Find harmony in your wards and in your families. We all have needed voices...not great but perfect together. The gospel gives us orientation. He said he felt lost not knowing the direction until the sun came up this morning and he knew which way was East and then knew which way the river was flowing. The Lord pro,uses us that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we have a new day and orientation. Be patient to clear days. Some days are tempered with clouds but the sun will always shine again, maybe another day but it'll shine. Use the gospel to soar to new heights. Think locally about how we can better expand and share what we have. Our meetings should always be a source of invitation. Let's not wait until something comes from headquarters because it won't. Do something now. You are the church. Bible has such a powerful message. You are in the Bible Belt, use it and help make it the Book of Mormon belt too. When you talk to your friends, don't miss the beauty of the Bible nor the beauty of the restoration. He mentioned his talk "lift where you stand" and encouraged us to re-read it and make it locally. Make sure you show interest in people. Look for new faces and ask them who they are. Reach out to people. Help the young people to walk through life. Find joy in this great work. Life isn't easy but it's wonderful to serve the Lord. Be a radiance to people, bring light to the lives of others.
Elder Holland:
Do you know what it's like to travel with Elder Uchtdorf, the ladies always go nuts and the men try to stand a little taller. He (Elder Uchtdorf) had taught its not where you serve in the church but how you serve. He made a funny that when stake presidents are released they pray and fast to be nursery workers and those who don't fast and pray hard enough, go to Boy Scouts. Haha. It's not where you serve but how. The organization chart of the church is not anything a corporation can do or the government. It guarantees that the keys of the kingdom are every absent on earth. Sometimes we are so close to history that we do not know we are making it. Do you think you are the only person in this world that has had a bad day? Neither you or I are the only ones that faced things we never want to face. Sometimes there isn't any other way but to have these things happen. Christ was the only who could do what he did and there was no other way. Have we ever thought enough what the father went through watching his perfect son agonize and go through what his son did. The atonement wasn't an abstraction and the crucifixion was not a walk in the park. The people who stood by and heard this conversation between God and Jesus, some thought it was thunder and some thought an angel speaking. Lesson one- we are the ones on trial not the gospel. How do you hear it and how do you respond too it. Another lesson is the night before crucifixion and last supper, a women poured ointment on Christ. Some wondered why waste ointment. Christ said leave her alone "she hath done what she could" (Mark 14:8) Elder Holland says do what you can and we ought to do that and not less. Do what you can! Whether in church service, raising a family, or having family home evening. And lastly, love one another. It's this simple- LOVE EACH OTHER. That's the way people in the world will know you are a disciple of Christ is by loving one another. We know God is God because he loves us. We may break his heart but he loves us. Do what you can go and love each other. Life and life the truth- the simplicity and its power. Left an apostolic blessing to bless us in our marriages, families, children, those struggling. We leave a blessing fir you to know God lives and lives you and if we do what we can, we will be saved in the last day.