My dearest Papaw

New Year's Eve will forever remain an evening that brings back a sore memory of the night that Papaw suffered a stroke, that led to his eventual death. I was able to spend the night at the hospital with my Papaw on Friday and most of the day Saturday. I enjoyed watching him sleep that night and would not have been any other place. He has been there for me countless times and I felt like I was there him for a little time. Last night, the doctors told us that "he is dying" and there were two options: 1. hospice, taking him off the tubes and allowing him an easier death or 2. prolong his life but he would never make it home, he would go to nursing homes and most likely back to the hospital multiple times (that life would only be sustained a maximum of 6 months). Lucille has to make the final decision and as hard as it is, I only pray that she chooses what he would want. My hearts hurts so deeply and it is hard to imagine him not being here. Papaw has been an integral part of my life, I can not recall a time that he has not been there for me or my family. He drove up for Ginny's first talk, attended Aubree's choir performance, and was all the event that were a big deal to me that a recall. He is an exemplary example of a grandparent. At church Sunday, we sang "God be with you till we meet again" and I felt like I was singing to Papaw, he looked so fragile and non-responsive Friday and Saturday. Yesterday (Sunday), Jake and I decided to make a quick trip down after church but it ended up being much longer than quick. Papaw has been unresponsive for a couple days but last night, the Lord granted me a tender mercy allowing my Papaw to wake up for a few minutes, this will forever be one of my most treasured memories. He knew exactly who I was and said "hey Nae", I told him Jake was here and he said "hey Jake". I told him he had to speak up that I was deaf and he said he was hard of hearing too. So I joked about us both having selective hearing. Then the doctor came in and he was able to state his name but was unaware of where he was. After the doctor pulled us out of the room and spoke with us, I went in and face-timed (call and talk live with each other) with each of my siblings so they could tell him that they loved him and he could tell them. One of my favorites, was when I told him that I was going to have James clean his teeth, he opened his mouth wide for James, and then said Charity could clean them. After all of them had a moment on the phone with him, I stepped aside privately and told them each of the doctors diagnosis. I am sure we cried a thousand tears each last night and mom probably more. Ginny and Aubree sang him "I am a Child of God" and after all left, we brought the boys in and Papaw said in the best voice he could at the time "hey Will" and then a little lower, "hey Chris". My life is better for having a part of it. It will be extremely hard for me to let him go but I can only imagine that Mamaw is there waiting with open arms. Each year my heart has a little ache on Father's Day because that is the day that I lost Mamaw (06/19/1994)and now I am sure each new years eve will be a sore spot for me as well.

Baptism Day and Papaw

The last few days have been some very emotional days for me. New Years Eve, I received a phone call that Papaw had suffered a stroke and was in ICU. Immediately, I left and went down for the 1:00 visitation with my sisters. He was stable but did not look like my Papaw at all. He was so bruised and fragile. Funny thing is that you believe your parents and invincible until the one day the are not. My Papaw means an incredibly great deal to me and I am so very close to him. I went down the next day as well (Friday). This morning, (January 2, 2016) I was awoken by a phone call about 6:30 that his scan was showing more fluid, swelling on the brain, and he was unresponsive. They also spoke about putting him on life support, without showering or anything, I hopped in the car and headed to Jackson. Michael, Sandra, and I arrived at the hospital about the same time. He woke up and spoke the best he could to us. His speech is still slurred but at least he woke up. I was not able to stay as long as I wanted and it was very difficult to leave but it was a big day for my boy. Jacob William was baptized this morning at 11:00. We were surrounded by family, yet I was a little sad still that my Papaw was not there but lying alone in a hospital bed. Michael, Grammy and Papa, Nana and Papa, Sandra and Brent, Chris and Crystal,and Sarah and David, had traveled down for it. Rebekah and Charity were also there. It was a beautiful service, a little different because some were in jeans (but I was 110% okay with that). Here is to hoping that Papaw knows and feels the love that we have for him and that he is not in pain. He is one of my heroes! My eldest son bears the name of some of the most dear to me: Jacob (after his father) William (after my dad and Papaw). I did not get any pictures but my dad snapped a couple, thank you dad. 

 Baptism of Jacob William Farrell January 2nd, 2016 Bartlett Second Ward, Memphis North Stake Presiding and Conducting…………………....Bishop Joey Hale Pianist………………………………………….Devin West Chorister………………………….……………Ginny Farrell (sister) Opening Hymn……………………………….. Baptism (children’s hymnal) Opening Prayer……………………………….. Rebekah Eaton (aunt) Talk on Baptism…………………………………Chris Farrell (uncle) Special Musical Number “A Child’s Prayer” by various family members Baptismal Ordinance for Jacob William Farrell Performed by Jacob L Farrell (father) Witnesses: John Eaton Rochelle (Papa) and Tommie Farrell (Papa) Interlude Video Special Musical Number “The Miracle” by Aubree Farrell Talk on the Holy Ghost……………………..……John Eaton Rochelle (Papa) Confirmation Ordinance for Jacob William Farrell Performed by Jacob L Farrell Welcoming Remarks……………………..……. Kate Wilson, Primary President Welcoming Remarks……………………………Bishop Joey Hale Closing Hymn……………………….………... I am a child of God (# 301) Closing Prayer…………………………………. Michael Eaton (uncle)

Happy 8th birthday Jacob William

Eight years ago, I had no idea how busy boys were and now I have two. There are days when I think my last nerve is being tested and other days that my boy is such a little charmer. I am blessed to call Will my son. He is very rambutious and is working hard on learning to listen but I wouldn't trade it. We are also working on not being stinky...he is really all boy. Yesterday, we attempted to talk to him about the importance of personal hygiene and wiping his bottom good. We don't want to have the smelly kid and right now we do. He gets so dirty. Yesterday, he pooped in our toilet that doesn't work (because if new tile and hasn't been reset yet), didn't wipe, did not wash his hands, and while we are talking to him about it, he scratches his butt and rubs his hands through his hair. I'm certain that years from now, we will all laugh about it. But today, we celebrate him and the smiles he brings into our lives. Some of his favorites are as follows: baseball, pizza, candy, soda, Legos, and playing games. He is very, very good at Legos and building things. He helped his dad surprise Ginny with shelves for her closet last week and build shelves in the media room. He's all boy but he's our boy and we will keep him. Happy 8th birthday son, I love you beyond measure! 

Merry Christmas 2015

The weather has been unusually warm for this time of the year, in the mid 70's, so it has been more challenging to make it feel like Christmas. There have been other contributions to that as well, such as the house under construction with the flooring and Jake and I both under the weather. However, yesterday was perfect.  We had Mexican for lunch (we do that almost every year), saw a movie, baked cookies, caroled to two families, danced in the kitchen to Christmas music, had our own special Christmas concert, and watched Home Alone. The Christmas concert was perfect: Ginny played "oh come all ye faithful" on the flute, Chris sang jingle bells accompanied by Aubree on the piano, Will sang "We wish you a merry Christmas" accompanied by Aubree, Aubree sang "Hark the Herald Angels sang" accompanied by Jake, and then we all sang silent night around the piano. Loved it! We told the kids that if they could get to the tree to open gifts, they could open them as soon as they wanted no matter the time. Little did we know, 3am they would be successful. Jake and I had prepared boobie traps to delay but they worked together and out smarted us. We had put wrapping paper on the door and blocked off all entrances to the living room. They had scissors in the room and cut through the paper, then lifted Christopher over the barricade. Next year, we will do better but they enjoyed it. The kids seem to have a pleasant Christmas and enjoyed their gifts. 

Jake and I went back to bed about 4:40 and encouraged the children to do the same. We awoke about 10 and went to jackson. Mom had a delicious meal prepared and we all chatted with Sandra and Michael over the iPads. Papaw very much enjoyed visiting with everyone. The best part for me was dancing with Jake in the kitchen yesterday, I felt so close to him again and in love. I am beyond blessed in my life. 

1987 letter to Santa

My parents found these two gems and sent them to me. 

"Dear Santa, 

     I know I've been bad not believing in you but tonight everyone told me you were real now that I think about it I believe them. I know you aren't going to have nothing but you can open one of my presents. Well,  I've got to go to bed so good night. Merry Christmas.  I love you.           Signed: Renee' Eaton"

Talk about a big run on sentence but it gives you a glimpse into me as a ten year old. Now for letter 2....

"Dear Mom, 

       I wanted you to know that j cleaned the house tonight. I put a diaper on Rebekah, and tucked everyone in and made sure they were warm. I told das to give Sandra her medicine but he said you would do it." 

A little catch up..

 Let's start with Halloween..my kids were super excited that Michael and his family came down for the weekend. Sandra and her family also came up for trick or treating. 

Now to November...I realized that I was struggling to be happy in my life and with my marriage in November. I felt as if Jake and I were stepping apart instead of towards one another. I mentioned to him how I felt and he thought I was being ridiculous. So after thanksgiving (which was wonderful because all my siblings and I were together at my parents in almost two years...I LOVED it), in early December I brought it back up and we talked for hours about it one night. I told him that there were times I regretted coming to work in same district and grade level as him because I felt it was in ways dividing us. I felt he didn't look at me the same, we didn't talk as much, and actions (such as my forehead kisses or dancing in the kitchen) were dissipating. He said there were times too that he regretted the job choice and we both thought we wanted to work together. He felt that he couldn't support his team or help others in fear I'd become a mad woman (this stems from in August), etc. It wa hard for me to want to continue to try but yet I knew I loved him and do love him. A few weeks later, I feel it is a better and will continue to work at it. He makes me better and I want to help him become better too. This past week, we both left work an hour early on Monday and took the day off Tuesday and headed to Nashville to watch the Forgotten Carols but had to be back in time Tuesday (12/15) for Ginny's band concert. She did a great job! The week before was Aubree's choir concert and she rocked that too! Each night we have tried to piece our home together after they finish a room of flooring. It looks beautiful and we feel like we are making it out home. 

Happy birthday Renee'

Yesterday was my birthday and what an unexpected birthday it was. I have been loosing my voice for a couple of days and decided to go to the doctor. The ward christmas breakfast also happened to be the same day, so we went a few minutes and then to the doctor. Jake and I were both diagnosed with strep throat and given meds. Jake has also had a headache for about two consecutive weeks now and believes it is sinus related. Later that evening, I realized as I was putting a spare key away that all of my rings had been stolen (I do not want to accuse people but we just finished the attic and got new flooring throughout the house, so I'm guessing it was one of them). Realizing they were gone made my heart a little sad, especially the promise ring Jake had bought me and his university of Utah class ring.  However, his wedding band, mamaw's wedding  band, my moms original wedding rings, and the star ring from parents are still tucked away nice and safe.  Last night as Jake and I were running to Lowes I mentioned my birthday had sucked- not that I wanted gifts (I just asked for the house to be cleaned) because of the events that unfolded. But a few minutes later, I realized I had a bad attitude and if had highlights from the day- people at the church breakfast had remembered my birthday, my family all (except James) wished me a happy birthday, my mother in law sent me a text to remember my birthday on my birthday during the day, and I was with the people I care most about. So although I am sick and been robbed, I still am blessed beyond measure.